School Holidays: "The Verdict"

This is the final post about my quest to change up the school holidays by adding a learning aspect to our days. You can find part one here and part two there.

The verdict?
I huge chunk of the usual anxiety was curbed for me. Usually I feel like I'm spending a huge chunk of the holidays curbing bad behaviour, attitude, and trying not to step on the small people who are under my feet bored.
The flexibility of the activities meant that we still had plenty of time to do loads of other things, or that we could even blow off any thing on the cirriculum and catch up later without too much hassle. That if it was a day where we just needed to not worry about that stuff, we didn't have to, but I found that if we hadn't done anything that morning they would ask to that afternoon.
After they finished their work they were only happy to go and play together, sometimes a bit of silly play, but harmless, fun, filling their bellies with giggles kind of play that makes you smile from afar. Because they were happy to go off on their own for a couple of hours and I wasn't needed to break up bickering it meant that I had good solid time to actually get stuff done instead of having to keep stopping to find something for them to do, or sort them out. Getting the housework out of the way first thing meant that I also had more time to spend with them in the afternoon, when most of the bickering would occur, so we could play something together.

So the kids seemed happier, and a little less annoying.

What gave it the biggest tick to me was what they had to say about it. That both said they really liked it. Bluey said he liked that he would get up in the morning and could read what he would get to do for the day and that he could choose when to do it. I felt it calmed him having that little bit of stimulation, but still getting a massive chunk of time to play and unwind from the terms activities.

There are already requests for next school holidays cirriculum, which include reading certain books to building a jet pack out of recyclable materials. It is something I will definitely try out again in the upcoming school holidays. I'm not too sure how it will work out a second time around, maybe the new-ness of it all will have worn off?

Is this something you would try with your children?

School Holidays: "What Went Down"

This post follows on from my last post about a little experiment I conducted over the school holidays to help tame my little one's.

Most mornings I would be woken by Greenie bringing me his book to read for the day so we would snuggle for a bit in bed while he read to me. When we got out of bed Bluey would be working on an activity for the day, and then we would have breakfast. The kids insisted most mornings that we eat outside in the morning sun and I just couldn't refuse knowing that winter is much closer than I'd like.

After breakfast we would clean up, and I would get stuck into the usual housework for the day, sometimes with the kids help, sometimes they would just want to play, and it just didn't matter because play is important. Especially when you're working on your bond with your sibling.

Eventually they would get hungry and come looking for more food and lunch would be made.

Naptime would come which gave Bluey and I a chance to work on something a little more challenging because I could give him that one on one time if he requested. It also meant he had some time to do whatever he wanted without his younger brother about.

I also made a point to include craft activities and cooking.
My kids love to help out in the kitchen, and I love to teach them simple recipes so that they can do them themselves with a little help. A gift for the future. The easier the recipe, like say pancakes or cookies, the more they can do without my help. More complex recipes don't mean they can't help, but it means that they help rather than me being the 'helper.'
I admit, I hate craft, it is such a hassle to set up and then clean up for something that really only holds my kids attention for seconds. I do still think it is important, an outlet for expression that maybe doesn't speak to me but that I shouldn't rule out that avenue for my kids. This time around we focused more on different mediums like crayons, chalk, textas so that I could get an idea for which type they preferred.

I find that it's best to work on your child's interests and build from there.
If your kid loves maths then work on some fun math games or print off some appropriate worksheets, get them to do a worksheet one day and secretly time them, and then ask them to beat that time on another day.
Bluey is a mad science fan, so we are always coming up with experiments, or just talking about different ways of thinking and seeing things.
If you want to work on something that doesn't appeal to them try to look for ways that you can make it appeal. Sometimes how I was taught at school to do something is different from how Mr Black was taught and so we will show the kids both ways and give them that option to use whichever clicks better with them.
Sometimes the answer is skipping ahead a little, to gain that interest and then coming back.

There are endless ideas on Pinterest for activities with children, but I think the important thing for learning is that it is child led. You know your child best, trust that.

What is your child interested in? Can you use that to help foster a learning experience?

School Holidays: "The Plan"

I have had a rough time with one of my kids in particular lately, if you dared to judge me on a 30 second window of me out with him frustrated then I would be the worst mum ever, but if you were watching for the last few months you would see the utter love and devotion I have to this child, the deep concern I have, the hours and days of patience that has steadily worn thin to shards so that now I roll my eyes and tell him off for what you may see to be small in that 30 second window but that I have asked him to be considerate about for months.

Children will be children. They are learning, yes, but it is also part of my responsibility as a mother to teach. Not just to read, write and do mathematics, but respect, consideration, thoughtfulness and confidence.

That's why these school holidays have been just what I've needed. What my family has needed.

Usually I have a mix of anxiety and relief over school holidays. Relief not to have to worry about the comings and goings of school, the needing what on which day, and the handling of issues after the fact that just plain annoys me. Relief that there is some time for my kids to enjoy one another, because they really do. Well, usually.
Anxiety because I have two kids who are both very different and very alike at home needing different things from me. Stress that I have to be always doing something with them, something big and memorable and super fun because if I don't I will be that bad mum who did nothing with her kids. But I never know quite what to do.

These school holidays I entered with a plan.
I drew up what has been referred to as "the curriculum." Just a 10 day chart that had a few activities written down. There was no more than a half hour of activities for the kids to do with me, which we usually did first thing in the morning.
Then we added in any other things that we would usually do on that day as well as a craft activity for the day. I went through the kids toys and pulled out one quiet toy/game and one that wasn't so quiet, and set them up, and then swapped for a different toy as needed.
I went over a mental list of things I had been putting off, things I needed to do, and things I wanted to do for myself to keep in check too. And we just did it.

The kids were excited when I stuck "the curriculum" to the wall, but I didn't know if their enthusiasm would last....

Would this be a child taming hit or a massive crash and burn?
What do you think happened?

Scared to succeed

 
The trouble I have had with writing of late has really only come down to one thing.

As busy as I have been, I have always managed the time to write. Why can't I find it now?
My trouble is fear.

I am inspired by so much to write. Sometimes I wish my eyes had a built in camera so I could capture all the beauty and ugliness I see in the world, because even in the ugliness I see inspiration.
Especially in ugliness.

I draw a lot of my inspiration to write in my hardest moments. It isn't always ideal, and some people don't think it is right to write openly in those moments, but it is what I do.
In the end I control what I do and don't share. I have to be ok with the consequences. So far I have been.

But I have also shared with you someone who has grown and changed deeply over the last few years. I have faced up to many fears since my first blog post, one of those being meeting so many other wonderful bloggers. The biggest fear I faced though was my fear of myself.
Sure I am scared to fail just like everyone else, but I'm also scared to succeed.
It left me with quite the horizontal imprint in my ass.


I don't know that I can write from happiness...
But I sure as heck am going to try.
 
What inspires you to write that may not inspire others? Is there anything you're scared to write about?

 

Afternoon Tea

 

The kids and I have been baking up a storm these school holidays. Bread, pizza dough, banana bread, ice cream and now scones. And it's only week one!
We might make the same things over and over, but I love that I get to see my kids anticipating the next step, or remembering an ingredient. Teaching them to be passionate about food and understand it is something I really want to encourage in them.

Does anyone else cook with their kids? What do you like to make together?

Bloglovin'

Cause apparently that's where the party is at.
Please let me know if you're over there so I can ensure I am following you too.
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The Perfect Mother

I am often taken aback at how I am seen as a mother through others eyes.
I am often the person my friends go to for parenting advice. I also get a lot of comments along the lines of "Your house is never messy!" "You are such a fun mum." "How do you make your kids behave so good?" "You never struggle." The most recent comment that made me laugh was "I bet you never yell at your kids."

Well, thanks to my OCD tendencies you will be forgiven for thinking my house is always clean, but if you look closely you will notice the beds are almost never made, the cluttered piles on bench tops, the dozens of half started projects, and the spare room which we all know is code for the "throw it in there and forget about it" room.

Most weekends are spent running around catching up on house and yard work. I would love to say that between visiting family far less than I would like, and the aforementioned chores we fill our time with wild adventures rich with learning experiences and fun. We don't.

My kids are hardly exceptionally well behaved. They have moments, tantrums, they're still learning boundaries and testing them often. I don't like to talk about my children's struggles because we all have things to learn. I just ask them to try and make their best decision in the moment. To stop and think. At the end of the day I am raising a six and four year old. They don't stop and think very often.

If you asked Mr Black how much I struggled he would tell you a lot. I have moments where I have to just shut myself away for a bit. Moments where my children will find me hiding and ask me questions and I will stare blankly at them because I know I know the answer to this simple question but my brain has just up and left me, I have nothing left to give, not even an answer to a simple question.

I am not the perfect mother. I ignore my kids occasionally. I yell at other times. Yes, I yell. My neighbours can attest to that! Sometimes I say mean things. I sit up at night worrying about all of the ways I have probably damaged my children that day, and all that I have failed to give them. My mind flurries over the list of chores I have failed to complete for the day, that will be waiting in the morning, that will take my time and energy, things which would be better spent on my children.

Every one's definition of perfect is different, and it is remarkable the things people absorb, what their eyes choose to see, to focus on. My children are exactly that, children. They are mischievous, rambunctious and living in the moment. Some days I can roll with their craziness with ease, sometimes add a little of my own, other days it grates on my nerves like nails down a chalkboard.

The perfect mother to me is the mother who loves their child with all of them, even if at times they don't like their child very much, and who would do anything their child needed without a second thought. Perfection is a unique thing.

Do you know someone who you think is the perfect mother? Why do you think that they are?

The Number Game

I was twenty two when I attended my first funeral. I clutched my three year olds hand and held a baby to my chest. It was a small gathering. Immediate family only. I watched the front row of people break down in wails and muffled sobs. I rubbed the back of my twenty one year old sister while she shook, and we said goodbye to my Nan. My children's Oma.

I have been to three funerals. The last one just days ago. I know more are coming. I feel them coming.

It has been twenty days since I updated my blog. I find time is passing in a funny kind of way at the moment. My days and nights feel a little mixed up. I'm not entirely sure how to articulate whats happening, what I'm feeling, and writing about the trivial things feels exactly like that. Trivial.

Life and death walk hand in hand.

Fragile Little Butterfly

Life is a lot like butterfly wings isn't it?
Simple and beautifully gorgeous but oh so fragile.

In Love.

How rare the chance to get to fall in love with someone all over again. To see everything, experience everything like it is the first time again.

I have so many regrets about what happened. So so many.
I had a good friend who was there for me during the build up, and when I walked away point out that it needed to happen. It was a long time coming. That what was important was what I did with all that I learnt now.
I laughed the comment off, agreeing but not putting too much thought into it because honestly, it was still too raw. I was angry with myself for the betrayal, for not being stronger and there for someone who I loved when they needed me. So even in the first few weeks of reconciling I was angry, and it showed. Angry with myself because I know that I could have done better, I could have been more patient and compassionate.

I predicted that a time would come where he would repay the way in which I left. Even though leaving is what finally got us to listen to one another and actually doing what we said we would.
He learnt to talk to me in a different way, that I wasn't his magic fix it all, that he was far more capable than he realised.
I learnt that I need to talk, that trust was a choice made constantly and sometimes without any indication to. That's what trust was all about, having faith in that person for no real reason at all. Just because.

Things aren't all fixed, but I'm falling in love again. It all feels electric and I find myself completely wrapped up in this person but still with that familiar comfort you grow over time. It really is the best of both worlds and for once instead of worrying about when it will all fall apart I'm looking for ways to keep this feeling going.

What do you miss about love? Do you think that it can get it back or that it's a bit like trading cards?

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