What's under your clothes?

Today I'm going to talk about something we are all faced with at some stage of our lives.
To modify or not?

Body modifications that is.

Don't worry, not everyone looks like this --->

Growing up getting a belly button piercing or a tattoo were like WOWZERS. Me personally? I always wanted my to get my eyebrow pierced, it wasn't super common at 14, but any expressions of interest in anything of the sort was met with an "over my dead body" from my parents, and by the time i reached the age of 18 every man and his dog had jumped on board of that train so i settled for the more discreet tongue piercing, which was followed up shortly with my first tattoo.

But what is body modification exactly?

After a little researching i was overwhelmed to realise there are some really crazy different ways that you can modify what your mama gave you.

Many of these certainly aren't work or child safe, but if you want to check out a little more on them i found this site to give a pretty basic rundown on your body mod need to know.

There are all sorts of ways you can put yourself through pain modify. Some, like "lacing" i actually find intriguing. Looks cute huh? I could see many teenage girls wanting that.
Which has got me thinking. Is body mod really just the new fashion statement? And is this putting our children in a dangerous situation of getting something permanent and possibly dangerous done on a whim to "be cool"?

There is also "tight lacing" or "corset training". Ah yes, the images of those women who wear those super small corsets so their waists take on the size of a ten cent coin would be correct.

There are body mod procedures like "branding". Yep, i see you thinking of old western movies where they're putting hot bits of metal onto a cows hide. That's exactly it. Or maybe you giggle thinking back to your high school days of "smileys"? I did the former too.

Similarly there is "scarring" which instead involves cutting out the skin in certain patterns and designs. People explain these to be like "intense tattoo's", i think of it more like "intense farking craziness".

Back when i finished school and welcomed legal adulthood (although actual adulthood didn't happen until much later) in 2004, was when i guess i noticed piercing starting to take on a new level. I had heard about and seen "wrist piercings" and that became my new hunt down, but back then it just seemed impossible to find someone who had trained in such a piercing outside of the mainstream piercings and i was soon pregnant and left thinking about a baby pulling at it, which gave me the realisation of just how much it would get caught on things and how delicate it then seemed.


Recently i have become intrigued by dermal anchor's. I'd love two little jewels to decorate my decolletage. That was until i actually watched the process. Uhhh, yeah i might not, okay guys??

There are also "subdermal implants" where certain types of jewellery in different shapes are placed under the skin allowing your skin to heal over it and take on that shape.
This then takes on a new meaning when we move on to "pearling". No, not the necklace type, but something that probably gets me cringing even more. Pearling is when small beads are permanently inserted just under the skin in places such as your labia or penis. I guess those guys have no use for textured condoms? No?

We then go on to "corneal tattooing" (tattoo's in your eyes) and "extraocular implant" (cutting your eye open to insert a small piece of jewellery.

There are funky mods like "tongue splitting". I mean, what about those of us who are really snakes trapped in a human body?

And "tooth filing" for the most die hard "Twihards" because Edward could never possibly love us if we didn't have fangs.

One thing my parents really got through my head was any body mod i did get needed to be able to be covered up or taken out so that i could "look presentable" and i have, still to this day, kept that rule in mind.

Sorry, there are none of those classy face tatt's here.

I thought I'd tame it down a bit and mention "earlobe stretching". That's been around as long as the belly button piercing. Basically you put different sized "gauge's" in your ear slowly stretching the hole, permanently. Apparently this is the new competitive sport?

In attempting to tame things down earlobe stretching only lead me to the body mod "anal stretching". I'm not sure i need to explain this one further. *Ahem*

Possibly the most disturbing body mod i came across was "penis splitting". All i found was a brief mention, and honestly, i do not care to google it further for fear of what google may produce. Can anyone say OUCH?

So what brought me to this?

I added to my body mod collection this week.

It is nothing as extreme as the above, just a simple little tattoo. Number four for me.

It got me pondering about people and their thoughts on body modifications?

My mother is strictly against anything but at most a couple of piercings in your ears, and she is strictly against babies getting these, they are for older children only (thanks mum for letting me get my ears pierced for my 10th birthday, you're uber cool!).

She has not taken delight in any of the piercings or tattoo's my sister and i have come home with (and thankfully does not know about many of my sister's, who bless her is much more daring than me).

When i came home with my first tattoo i remember my mother saying to me with the utmost displeasure "Your father won't be happy" (the big threat, because dad was the "mean one").

My father? He came home, checked it out and said "good job. Now make sure you look after it." As he sports a couple of tattoo's himself i guess he smartened up to the fact he really couldn't chastise me for it.

My sister? She is a fan of the body mod. Not in some of the extreme cases above, but she isn't afraid to "blingify" her body and show a little ink.

Me? I'm a bit in the middle. Like i said, i do like a little modification, but i also like to keep it tasteful in the sense of being able to cover it up if need be. My tongue piercing was removed a couple of years ago because i was frankly over it. Since I've been wanting dermal anchors, but I'm really not sure i could handle that much pain.

How about you? What is your thought on body modifications? Do you have any of your own? If so, how did you tell your parents (ha! If they know?) and how did they react? Is there anything you've always wanted but are yet to get? And what are some of your thoughts on the above modifications?

I do not endorse any of these procedures, nor do i encourage them. Also i am not against any of the above. Just simply expressing my personal opinion.

Greatness from the week that was.

I love Saturdays because i get to play along over at Maxabella Loves and read so many greatful posts. (And i do go through and read them all, even when i'm short on time to comment).

It's dinnertime here and i'm only just now getting time to sit down and look at the computer. Thanks kids. Weekends are a bit busy here.

Anyway, enough jabbering about my lack of time, because thing is, i do have it, right now while my Mr Black goes and gets us some hot chips for dinner. YUM!
This week i am greatful for:
- Mr Black, my man. I don't say it aloud enough. It's easy with young kids and life stressors to focus on the negative, and tend to only speak up when there is a problem, and you forget to thank the little things, good health, food in the cupboards, oh and a Krispy Kreme Birthday Cake!!!

- I'm thankful for all of the comments and support i got over on my Waiting Game post. It's good to know i'm not the only one who thinks that getting married in the first 3 years of a relationship or you've "expired" is ridiculous! Funny thing is, the celebrities they used to back this up, well they're all still newly wed's. Show me a few couples who have been married happily for 50 years and maybe then i'd take it more seriously. These couples? They will probably be divorced in a year or two. Oh and they don't have kids! Hah! No kids, no money problems, can't be that hard to make it work!

- I'm thankful for freshly baked bread. My kids LOVE that stuff, and eat it up plain. Me? I'm not a huge fan, i don't know why i just prefer store brought. But i love that my kids  constantly prefer the healthier choices in foods over the junk (not like their mother!).

The Waiting Game.

I am unmarried.
I actually never refer to myself as "The missus" or to Mr Black as "my hubby". It's a strange situation that doesn't bode well with me personally. I know it makes me abnormal but it's sort of like saying i'm a blonde when i'm not at all. I feel like it's giving something that hasn't been earnt completely yet. Like making the committment without actually committng?
I will start by saying i have nothing against the de-facto relationships, nor am i pro-marriage. My parents are unmarried although they still remian together over 25 years later (i am not sure of the length of their realtionship, i believe it is just under 30 years, but well, it's safe to bet they were together before my conception, right? Right?!).

As you guys know, Mr Black and i celebrated 5 years this year.
So i'm reading my trashy mag purchase for the month and i come across something horribly scrawled across a page "It's beleived if you don't get engaged within three years of dating, then you never will..."
Say what?
So have i passed my expirey date in being "marriage material"?
Thing is getting married eventually is important to me. It's something i want for me, no one else. Ok, so maybe my partner, but it's something i personally feel is like a final comittment, me taking on his name, and he publicly declaring a committment to look after me for as long as we both live.
It's not something i take lightly, nor do i look at is as a chance to get on the piss and throw a big ol' shindig (although both of those reasons alone do sound very appealing, i just don't think i need to get myself hitched to have an excuse for either of those). It is something i go into seriously.
I, however, still remain ring-less.
See Mr Black doesn't believe in the "long engagement", which is fine by me, his reasoning he has given me i 100% agree with. But then you figure in everyone's comments. Oh! As if they weren't enough after one child, then you add another child and suddenly the pressure is on. Every engagement party or wedding we go to we always get the "You're next ;]" comments, and i have to admit they sting a little for many reasons.
I am young, so it doesn't take much to send my self esteem into dowaward spirals. I'm working on it, but while i'm good at building it back up, it doesn't take much to topple me over. Often with these comments i am left thinking 'but why hasn't he proopsed yet? Is he not already sold on the idea? I've had his children for crying out loud! Isn't that enough? Am i not good enough in bed? Do i not look good enough? Is he waiting for something/someone else?' and so on and so forth.
I do smile and say "One day when we're ready" but truth is i have been very ready and only happy to take this final step in tieing our lives together. Until, that is recently.

You see i've found my voice this year. Oh i've never been a quiet one! But more an inner strength that would once just ignore the unpleasentness is now taking a good look around and really trying to work through things, and learn about when to drop it, and it will be ok, and when to push it a little further because later i won't feel ok, it will come back to bite me on the ass.
With this has come a strength in then, because i'm expecting more from myself i'm expecting more from those around me. And so i've began with asking the questions.
I'm ashamed to admit this. As we talk i try to explain it isn't a pressure thing, and to keep it light hearted, but as time passes i can't help but ponder more and more what is he waiting for? We aren't getting any younger!! And i hear all of those comments people have dropped start to swirl inside of me.

And to you trashy magazine, thank YOU for making me feel like that because we have surpassed that three year magical time frame that my chances are practically depleated. No i can't waggle the "If you marry me i will give you kids" card in front of his face, silly hussy i am!


So readers what do you think of this three year rule?
How long were you and your's together before he popped the big question?
Or are you still patiently waiting like me?
And are you the type of person who asks these questions and put's the pressure on?

This is NOT about the meaning of life, nor is it ponderings of the past.

It's that time of the year again.
It only comes once a year, but it's oh so magical when it does.
My birthday.
Happy Birthday to me!!
Hip-pip HURRAH!

And now, instead of pondering the meaning of life and rambling about the years of my life, i am off to celebrate this once a year special day and stuff my face with some cake. Yep, that there above is my cake. Krispy Kreme donuts thanks to the lovely Mr Black.

Have i mentioned before the way to my heart is through my stomache?

The Neck Of It.

Yesterday morning i woke up to a crunching sound.

0_o

'This cannot be good' i think to myself. Sure enough, it wasn't. I couldn't move. I've hurt my neck.

I have no idea what i've done exactly. We are thinking i've pinched a nerve? It took me an hour just to get out of bed, and that was WITH help.
I'm miserable because i'm in so much pain, and i've done the whole heat packs, deep heat cream, hot showers, resting, turning my head to try and "stretch it out" but lets face it, i have no idea what i'm doing.

So i'm going to throw it out there. Mummy's are the smartest of people in the world who deal with loads of various things, surely someone will be able to throw me some tips?
I do still have two kids to care for today, but what can i do? Any idea's?
Any help will be greatly appreciated, and you know, will come with my undying gratitude ;)

Welcome to the big blue house.

I am a mother to two boys.
Two wonderful, sweet and clever boys that are both alike and extremely different in one.
They make me laugh. They keep me grounded. They make me proud.

I am sure that your children, dear reader, make you feel similar. Regardless of their gender, if they look more like mummy or daddy, what day they were born on.

One thing i have encountered many times since giving birth to Greenie is being told that the "disappointment" i must feel over "having another boy" is "awful".
Really? Having another child. A healthy child. A beautiful child, is awful?

We didn't reveal Greenie's gender when i was pregnant, although both my partner and i knew. I had a few people tell me that i "must be having a boy, because if you were having a girl you wouldn't be able to keep your excitement a secret". Ouch. Because surely as a mother to a son already that means i must want a girl. Well you know what? It doesn't.

Recently, with a friends news of expecting her sixth child, it got me thinking about all the gender comments that come with news of pregnancy and newborn babies. She is a mother to five beautiful boys. They are all wonderful in their own ways and they are very much loved. She is the only person to date I've felt like i can talk to honestly about this, that has understood when I've said "Really, i didn't care if i had a boy or a girl, i just wanted my baby to be healthy". Usually when i say that people roll their eyes and say "Yeah ok, but you would have preferred a girl right." Well, no. Not at all.
When the ultrasound tech told me we had a little dude in there i can honestly say there wasn't an ounce of upset in me, i was beaming. Penis or vagina, it didn't matter to me. There are challenges to every child, regardless of gender, i would embrace whatever lay ahead.

I had several people due the same year as we were who found out they were expecting the opposite gender to the child they already had. Wonderful, i thought, they will have so much fun with this. And i was truly happy, and meant deeply my words of congratulations. But then they would go on and on about their "perfect pigeon pair". Uhhh what? I must have skipped out on the parenting class that told you you needed to have a child of each gender to make your family "perfect". I can't lie. It hurt. It hurt that not only was i told that i must not be truly happy because Greenie wasn't rocking a little vagina in there, but then that my family couldn't be perfect in it's own way because we had two boys, and not a boy and a girl.
It hurts when strangers, or people i hardly know feel the need to tell me that "Surely you must have another baby so you can have a little girl". Why? That is all i want to know. Why does my family have to grow because we do not have a girl?

I must say i am not anti little girls here. Gosh are baby girls ever so cute! And i do adore them. But i adore them in the same way i adore handsome little boys. I adore them for the newborn little "meow" cry, the fresh baby smell of their heads, the way their hands instinctively seek you out and curl around your finger, the way their mouths drop open whilst they're asleep and they do that little suck on their lip thing...*

You know what though, i was lucky enough that Greenie cost us next to nothing to have until he started eating solids. He was breastfed and has always been in cloth nappies, he has a very generous stash of hand me downs in excellent condition from his big brother, as well as all of Bluey's baby stuff. That's a pretty sweet deal right?

Why is it automatically assumed that you need to have a child of each gender to be "complete"?

I want to know, has anyone else out there faced these sorts of accusations? And i do call them that because assuming i need to extend my family or that I'm upset with what i have is one thing, but when i let you know kindly that no i am in fact content, and am told that no I'm not, that is an accusation.

If you have been faced with this, how did you politely let people know they are wrong that got them to actually hear your words?

Are you guilty of assuming that someone is hoping for a specific gender based on what they already have?

*I will not get clucky. It simply is not allowed in this house. I will instead offer to snuggle any one's newborn in the sake of hoping that will give me my fix.

Right now bed is looking mighty good.

What is it about when you get sick everything seems to just fall to shit?
And you never get sick on the days you have "nothing in particular planned". Oh no! It's always the days you have about a million and one things to squeeze in. Is this someones idea of a cruel joke?!

I was sick earlier this week. I felt like....well honestly, like i had just had a baby. Like the day after you have your baby, when the adrenaline has worn off and you just ache EVERYWHERE. There was more to it but the ache is still sitting with me on a smaller scale.
Of course during this time i had quite a bit to do, neglected housework (that in hindsight i really shouldn't have put off) and a few appointments to get the kids to etc. etc.
I didn't manage well. I whinged to my 4 year old about how "awful mummy is feeling" far more than I'd like to admit.
What are your coping tips for when you're feeling like death and you still have to look after the kids as well as a to do list that cannot wait a mile long?

Actions are powerful.

This week i am greatful for...



1. Cuddles. There is something about the simplicity of a hug and how quickly it can lighten a mood. Never under-estimate the power of a cuddle.

2. Bubble Baths. The ultimate treat to me is slipping into a hot bubble bath, book in hand at the end of the day.

3. Delishious food. Oh gosh, have i mentioned food is my vice? I love food. 

What are you greatful for?

And don't forget to check out Maxabella's Greatful List and link yourself up there too! 

Looking to be mauled by crowds?

Today i went and checked out The Baby and Toddler Expo.
What a wonderful day!
I cannot thank Lori enough for heading me over there. (The kids loved the train ride, thank you.)

There was so much to take in and look at and it was very crowded. Annoyingly so, as i am not a fan of crowds, especially the type pushing strollers. Sorry, but move to the side if you're not moving and let those of us who are trying to move forward past please.
We headed directly for the Bio Oil stand where we promptly picked up our free sample and delighted in a FREE hand massage. Ahhh. What a way to start the day.

As we wandered i noted the many different cloth nappies they were advertising. Whoo! I hope they sold tonnes, because we all know how evil disposables are (I'm kidding...sorta). I used those booths to point out to my lovely friend how she really should look into it because using cloth just makes you that much more awesome (again, kidding...well sorta. I don't think it makes you a better parent per say, but it does make you more environmentally friendly, which is a total awesome rating from me).

There was lots of "couture" for your baby, as well as cute handmade stores (I'm a sucker for handmade items, just in case you were wanting to send my kids a Chrissy present) and funky threads to get your little fashionista a step ahead of the rest (or well, the babies parents who were too slack to take you to the expo with the thousands of other crazy stroller driving gangs mothers).

I even saw UberKate and contemplated running up like a mad woman screeching "Oh Em Gee! I am a stalker reader of Mrs Woog and i hear her raving about you all.the.time."

I loved the new concept of organic foods, which weren't much around when i was playing around with all that solids stuff with Bluey. Yes mum's go organic! The best way to do that? Make.your.own. It's really easy. I'd spend an afternoon every 3 months pureeing and freezing loads of containers of different foods. I found the mashing really therapeutic (much like scrubbing floors, and well, throwing objects at "people whom piss you off" head's).

As we headed for the door i noted that i did not once, in all the samples i collected (and really if you want me to buy your product, send me a free sample. Go on! I have loads of people i can brag to about your product and get them on it.) i did NOT see one sachet of formula being handed out. Actually i didn't see a flier for formula either. Or maybe they looked at me with my "crazy breastfeeding mum" look and knew to steer well clear. There were lots of bottles and the jazz that goes along with that, but formula i did not see. Well done Baby and Toddler Expo co-ordinaters. A massive THUMBS UP from me!

The kids? Well the Lego and Duplo stand got a firm thumbs up. In the way of Bluey, usually an excellent child, ran off and gave me a heart attack for 5 mins when i could.not.find.him :|

All in all, whilst Mr Black and my mother both looked at me and said with all seriousness;
"Are you taking both of the kids?"
"Yes, that was the plan."
"Are you crazy?"
No, well ok, i am crazy to have kids in the first place, but if you can't like your own kids, geez you shouldn't be around other people's then...
I had a great time. I did not enjoy the crowds. I did not enjoy that it was all very much pregnancy and newborn baby related (that does not help with trying to shake the baby fever), but other than that i had a blast!
It's still on tomorrow and Sunday so take your butt's down there. At the very least you will exit with some free samples of various products!