Becoming a parent evokes a passion in you like no other.
Firstly to protect your offspring at all costs.
In the 5 years I've been a mother, of all the things I have been made to feel like I need to explain for justify, breast vs. bottle, cloth vs. disposable, smack vs. not smack, circumcision vs. intact, stroller vs. pram, video games v.s board games.....and so the list goes on, none has bothered me more than my decision to stay at home with my children.
|Image from here|
The problem with this debate is EVERYONE has an opinion.
If I had a dollar for every time someone said to me "Lucky you don't have to work", or "But you do nothing all day!", or "You have it easy" I would be very rich indeed.
Firstly, fuck off. Being a full time mother is tough as fucking nails. The hardest part? There is no downtime. When you don't have a paid out of the home job asking for a little "me time" is a sin. How DARE I want to go to the toilet in peace, how DARE I want to do the groceries for half an hour by myself so I can hear my thoughts and not get everything that isn't on my list, how DARE I want to get 8 solid hours of sleep because I haven't had that in 5 years!
Once you become a mother work almost seems like a reward. A guilt free way for getting out of kid mode and just doing your own thing, even if it is a specific work related thing. I've had many mothers agree to having those feelings regarding work, and I agree.
If you're a stay at home mum, having your kids in childcare is selfish. Nothing having them there is not meeting some social "need". You are always expected to have your house resembling something out of a home decorating magazine, with freshly baked goods wafting from the kitchen.
If you're at home with your kids, it is assumed that you "do not work". I feel for those mothers who work from the home, or who work night shifts, or who are carers (of one of their children or another family member with special needs).
In many ways getting a job and answering the phone all day is much easier than what I do.
I never have a moment to just be. I am forever doing multiple things at a time, and boy do I want to slow down but no one will let me. I won't even let myself because I "do nothing all day" so I need to be doing something right?
Well I'm tired of being told I do nothing. I'm tired of earning nothing for doing the most important job in the world. Shaping our future. Of being told that teaching my children the difference between wrong and right and why we have laws and rules we have to follow and why we consider others in the hopes that they won't become criminals. Of kissing and cuddling them when sometimes I just want to run away because they need it.
Most of all? I'm tired of you and your opinions that I do nothing, but when something goes wrong you'll be pointing your finger at me.
Stop making assumptions.
Start respecting the mothers in this world.
Just remember we're raising an army.