I have a guest post today from Action Aid Australia talking about children and poverty in East Africa.
It is devastating to think how much we give our own children, and feel guilty about not getting them a treat after school or the newest flashiest toy when there are children who aren't even able to drink clean water. Please take the time to read this.
If you have young children at school, one of the items on their curriculum is likely to be learning the food pyramid. Teachers will guide students as to what foods are good for you and how many servings and portions you need of each food type to stay fit and healthy. Your child’s primary school might even have its own food garden. Understanding that food is an important element to health and well being, and then enjoying those foods, is part of the day to day lives of children in the western world.
And as mothers, we are generally aware of and able to give our children the food and nutrients that they need. Sure, we might pop the odd treat in their lunch box and struggle with the grocery bills from time to time, but we are able to provide them with the food they need to grow up strong and healthy.
Cross over to developing countries –more specifically the East African nations that are currently affected by drought and famine – and the picture is significantly different. Kenya, Somalia, Uganda, Ethiopia and Djibouti are currently experiencing the worst drought in 60 years, the result of which is a devastating food crisis. 13.3 million people have been affected – 4.14 million of those are children.
The drought has caused a severe lack of food and water, and the UN estimates that in Somalia alone 750,000 people are at risk of death. In times of drought and crisis, the sad reality is that women and children are often the most vulnerable. 80% of Somali refugees are women and children.
With a lack of food and water, many of the affected children are severely malnourished. Children are not getting the nutrients, protein and energy that they need not only to survive, but to grow and develop. Inadequate health services and unsafe water and sanitation compound the problem.
While malnutrition adversely affects all ages, children are the most vulnerable. During those vital developmental years, proper nourishment and essential nutrients help children to grow and develop. With little to no access to these nutrients, their mental and physical development can be stunted.
Can you imagine if the circumference of your child’s upper arm was that of a 20c coin? That is one of the signs of severe acute malnutrition. Other telling signs are swelling in the feet and or face. Worse, when children are malnourished they are more susceptible to disease. Measles, malaria, diarrhoea and pneumonia are rife in refugee camps and throughout the affected areas.
It’s hard to comprehend the enormity of the problem and the number of people and children that are suffering and at risk of death in East Africa. But there are things that can be done. Aid work and donations are vital in helping providing emergency food, water and medical supplies, but also in helping to implement training and education to ensure that sustainable food policies and farming methods are adopted in the region.
There are a number of ways to help. When you sponsor a child in an affected country, for example, you help not only provide the food, nutrients, water and health supplies needed to ensure their healthy development, but those funds go towards educating not only the child but their community on farming and other food practices. This will allow them to sustain their livelihoods and protect them from experiencing a food crisis of this magnitude again.
When you sponsor a child, you help give them the food and nutrients that they are robbed of – the nutrients and food that are a right of all children around the world.
How can you help?
Monday, October 31, 2011
Sunday, October 30, 2011
There's A Car In My Bedroom.
The other night I tweeted my disgust at "hoons".
For all stalking intentions, we live on the corner of a main road, being that it leads to just about everything in this town, the shops, the library, the school,the pub and other stuff.
There is a bus stop literally on our door step, so we're on the bus route, and it's not uncommon at any hour of the day or night to be privy to pedestrians conversations. Ahhh the teenage years of angst and heartache.
It also means we are on route to "impress all your friends with my awesome car handling skills" even more so due to being on the corner more space for burnouts, and as the main road is pretty long and fairly straight, a good place to seemingly take off at lightening speed.
Dear Drivers Who Need To Impress Others,
That girl? She won't be impressed when you lose control and come flying through someones house and kill two children. But then if you do that, her opinion will be the least of your worries, I am very good at torture (just ask Mr Black).
I can assure you that accelerating past a group of girls in no way makes them horny. Regardless of age. Yes they will turn and look at you, just to check that you aren't running them over. They will roll their eyes as they turn back around just as fast as they turned to the direction of you.
Burnouts just mean you will need to buy new tyres sooner, instead of being able to buy your girl a cool gift, like those shoes she has been drooling over. New shoes will get you further than "awesome car handling skillz".
Your mates are equally unimpressed. They're only cheering you on because they want you to crash or get caught by the cops because lets face it, that is far more interesting.
Pumping your fully sick disco tunes does not mean you need to rev harder so you can hear those revs over the music. Turn your music down. To the guy who was blasting the Beiber, you killed your rep by letting that shit touch your stereo. Seriously dude.
This is not limited to young hoons. I see you oldies whinging about P-platers, but I've actually noticed that more cars without p-plates are doing this. It is even more pathetic if you're a 30 year old dude. Seriously, you should know better.
So all you fully sick rev heads. Please be refraining from driving like a douche around my hood. My babies are trying to sleep, as am I, and I don't need to be panicking that your car might come for a late night visit.
For all stalking intentions, we live on the corner of a main road, being that it leads to just about everything in this town, the shops, the library, the school,
There is a bus stop literally on our door step, so we're on the bus route, and it's not uncommon at any hour of the day or night to be privy to pedestrians conversations. Ahhh the teenage years of angst and heartache.
It also means we are on route to "impress all your friends with my awesome car handling skills" even more so due to being on the corner more space for burnouts, and as the main road is pretty long and fairly straight, a good place to seemingly take off at lightening speed.
 |
| Image from here |
Dear Drivers Who Need To Impress Others,
That girl? She won't be impressed when you lose control and come flying through someones house and kill two children. But then if you do that, her opinion will be the least of your worries, I am very good at torture (just ask Mr Black).
I can assure you that accelerating past a group of girls in no way makes them horny. Regardless of age. Yes they will turn and look at you, just to check that you aren't running them over. They will roll their eyes as they turn back around just as fast as they turned to the direction of you.
Burnouts just mean you will need to buy new tyres sooner, instead of being able to buy your girl a cool gift, like those shoes she has been drooling over. New shoes will get you further than "awesome car handling skillz".
Your mates are equally unimpressed. They're only cheering you on because they want you to crash or get caught by the cops because lets face it, that is far more interesting.
Pumping your fully sick disco tunes does not mean you need to rev harder so you can hear those revs over the music. Turn your music down. To the guy who was blasting the Beiber, you killed your rep by letting that shit touch your stereo. Seriously dude.
This is not limited to young hoons. I see you oldies whinging about P-platers, but I've actually noticed that more cars without p-plates are doing this. It is even more pathetic if you're a 30 year old dude. Seriously, you should know better.
So all you fully sick rev heads. Please be refraining from driving like a douche around my hood. My babies are trying to sleep, as am I, and I don't need to be panicking that your car might come for a late night visit.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Getting Down To My Grundies
After reading both Stacey aka Veggie Mama and Lori from RRSAHM's posts, I got a swift kick up the bum and did some thinking that shed a new light on a very personal situation for me.
You see I have an awful relationship with my appearance. I simply do not feel pretty, or accepting of how I look. I often look around me and see such beauty in others that I am left feeling hateful towards myself.
The thing is, how much of this is a physical dislike vs. a mental battle I am having with myself and my demons?
I've already openly used this blog as a way of pushing my own boundaries, and why not in this case?
Firstly, I know I do not treat my body well. There is zero respect there. I binge eat, and usually junk foods. I have never worried about what I put in my mouth, and I don't work out. I mean, I try, but really I don't do anything substantial. I don't drink enough water, and my skin really does reflect that my diet isn't agreeing with it. I currently have several zits on my face, and a nice big rough and dry patch that hasn't shifted in 3 weeks despite me trying everything from exfoliating, to moisturising like crazy, to paw paw ointment.
And secondly, I am not as horrible looking as I make myself feel. I am blessed with some really great genetics, meaning I am naturally slim with little, or should I say zero effort. Something that I know many women would instantly hate me for not appreciating. I don't have any major illnesses that I am aware of, and I can walk a fair way before getting puffed out.
Posting this picture is hard for me.
Thing is I won't even let Mr Black see me in just my underwear and I NEVER look in the mirror when I am naked. That's how twisted my perception of myself is. I do try to shake it off, but it's not always easy.
I still have bad hair days, more often than not, my hair is untameable. Think Fran Fine, minus the perm. My teeth aren't a perfect stunning white even though I don't drink coffee or smoke, I still have wobbly bits and yes slim girls have "fat" days too, my thighs wobble when I walk, I still have a "pocket" on my belly from where my two children housed themselves for the better part of a year, each, my breasts look like two very deflated wrinkly balloons that are trying to take a look at my feet, and this is without going near the problems of my face, which is what I struggle with the most.
Would I have plastic surgery right this second if asked?
No.
It's my body.
It's unique and filling it with plastic won't change how I feel about it. This is something I know.
For all it's worth, sometimes things don't need to be pretty to do their job. Sometimes being pretty is just an extra perk or a reward after working hard.
I know that if I put the time and effort into my body that I could make it something special. I've been told several times by several different sources that I have the type of body that "designer clothes are made for", this was 6 years ago before losing 10kg's (unwillingly. Please, I do not diet. I am not as strong as all you women who can and do).
I also know we are our own worst critics.
Generally what you are stressing over and hating on, no one else around you has noticed yet.
I know that good body image is about what you think of your body. Not what others are thinking and saying.
So love yourself.
You see I have an awful relationship with my appearance. I simply do not feel pretty, or accepting of how I look. I often look around me and see such beauty in others that I am left feeling hateful towards myself.
The thing is, how much of this is a physical dislike vs. a mental battle I am having with myself and my demons?
 |
| Image from here |
I've already openly used this blog as a way of pushing my own boundaries, and why not in this case?
Firstly, I know I do not treat my body well. There is zero respect there. I binge eat, and usually junk foods. I have never worried about what I put in my mouth, and I don't work out. I mean, I try, but really I don't do anything substantial. I don't drink enough water, and my skin really does reflect that my diet isn't agreeing with it. I currently have several zits on my face, and a nice big rough and dry patch that hasn't shifted in 3 weeks despite me trying everything from exfoliating, to moisturising like crazy, to paw paw ointment.
And secondly, I am not as horrible looking as I make myself feel. I am blessed with some really great genetics, meaning I am naturally slim with little, or should I say zero effort. Something that I know many women would instantly hate me for not appreciating. I don't have any major illnesses that I am aware of, and I can walk a fair way before getting puffed out.
 |
| My underwear never matches. I'm far too quirky for that shit. Or so I say. |
Posting this picture is hard for me.
Thing is I won't even let Mr Black see me in just my underwear and I NEVER look in the mirror when I am naked. That's how twisted my perception of myself is. I do try to shake it off, but it's not always easy.
I still have bad hair days, more often than not, my hair is untameable. Think Fran Fine, minus the perm. My teeth aren't a perfect stunning white even though I don't drink coffee or smoke, I still have wobbly bits and yes slim girls have "fat" days too, my thighs wobble when I walk, I still have a "pocket" on my belly from where my two children housed themselves for the better part of a year, each, my breasts look like two very deflated wrinkly balloons that are trying to take a look at my feet, and this is without going near the problems of my face, which is what I struggle with the most.
Would I have plastic surgery right this second if asked?
No.
It's my body.
It's unique and filling it with plastic won't change how I feel about it. This is something I know.
For all it's worth, sometimes things don't need to be pretty to do their job. Sometimes being pretty is just an extra perk or a reward after working hard.
I know that if I put the time and effort into my body that I could make it something special. I've been told several times by several different sources that I have the type of body that "designer clothes are made for", this was 6 years ago before losing 10kg's (unwillingly. Please, I do not diet. I am not as strong as all you women who can and do).
I also know we are our own worst critics.
Generally what you are stressing over and hating on, no one else around you has noticed yet.
I know that good body image is about what you think of your body. Not what others are thinking and saying.
So love yourself.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Desperate.
I have had a fair bit running through my mind lately, and while my blog certainly isn't solely about my insecurities, and it's not going to become solely about them any time soon, I do have a lot that I could write about. Due to this I have created a new segment called "The Black Files". I won't promise that it will be a weekly thing, but it may pop up occasionally and when it does you will see this icon to warn you that things written below may be triggering for some, and generally just emo for everyone else. 
Desperation.
It oozes from my pores.
I know it does.
I hate it, and try desperately to scrub it away.
Then I am told I am cold.
Heartless, it seems.
I am distant, and not present.
Where is the middle ground though?
I struggle as I sway between being clingy and shut off.
I try to find a balance, but it seems impossible.
Messages unanswered.
People looking the other way.
I want to scream "Can't you fucking see me?! I'm a person too. Would you like to be ignored? Just answer me!"
But I know I shouldn't.
So I am quiet.
Unwillingly observant.
Desperately alone.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
It's Time to Prime, Mate!
So before we get stuck into applying actual makeup, there is one step that really will make all the difference to how your makeup sits.
Primer.
I hadn't used primer until a few months ago to be honest. I always figured it did the same thing as moisturising before applying makeup and was just another expense that I could skip out on.
You can skip it, but not if you want your foundation looking smoother and more flawless.
You see primer works by hydrating the skin, and smoothing the surface so all those little lumps and bumps will be evened out and your foundation will glide on.
It's kind of like an artist painting on different textured canvases.
It can also work as an adhesive of sorts, grabbing the makeup and holding on to it.
Those nights out in hot sweaty nightclubs we so often have? No slippery slidey makeup! Not that we have those nights out anymore, but you know...maybe for other hot and sweaty activities ;)
Ok, so I just explained how it works, but honestly? I have no idea HOW it works. The difference it made to the way my makeup sat was amazing. My makeup looks lighter and more natural, and my skin looks more flawless. This leaves me feeling better about myself, and so I am carrying myself differently.
The first time I used a primer Mr Black commented that my makeup looked "really nice. Smooth." He doesn't notice much, and that in itself is such an odd comment coming from him so I felt it was honest.
I don't like to put makeup on with people watching, so I knew he hadn't seen that I had done that, and if he had he probably would have assumed it was some moisturiser or something anyway.
The difference Primer makes is also something I cannot demonstrate. What you need to do is go out and buy one and try it for yourself.
Two brands that I am really enjoying are Napoleon Perdis Auto Pilot Pre Foundation Primer and Australis Primer.
I have also found it handy to have a separate Eye Primer and Lip Primer. These are specialised to help those sensitive parts of your face.
My statement feature often tends to be my eyes, so the eye primer is a big favourite and really does make a difference for the longevity to your eyeshadow.
Do you prime your face? Do you have any favourite brands you can reccommend?
Primer.
 |
| Image from here |
I hadn't used primer until a few months ago to be honest. I always figured it did the same thing as moisturising before applying makeup and was just another expense that I could skip out on.
You can skip it, but not if you want your foundation looking smoother and more flawless.
You see primer works by hydrating the skin, and smoothing the surface so all those little lumps and bumps will be evened out and your foundation will glide on.
It's kind of like an artist painting on different textured canvases.
It can also work as an adhesive of sorts, grabbing the makeup and holding on to it.
Those nights out in hot sweaty nightclubs we so often have? No slippery slidey makeup! Not that we have those nights out anymore, but you know...maybe for other hot and sweaty activities ;)
Ok, so I just explained how it works, but honestly? I have no idea HOW it works. The difference it made to the way my makeup sat was amazing. My makeup looks lighter and more natural, and my skin looks more flawless. This leaves me feeling better about myself, and so I am carrying myself differently.
The first time I used a primer Mr Black commented that my makeup looked "really nice. Smooth." He doesn't notice much, and that in itself is such an odd comment coming from him so I felt it was honest.
I don't like to put makeup on with people watching, so I knew he hadn't seen that I had done that, and if he had he probably would have assumed it was some moisturiser or something anyway.
The difference Primer makes is also something I cannot demonstrate. What you need to do is go out and buy one and try it for yourself.
Two brands that I am really enjoying are Napoleon Perdis Auto Pilot Pre Foundation Primer and Australis Primer.
I have also found it handy to have a separate Eye Primer and Lip Primer. These are specialised to help those sensitive parts of your face.
My statement feature often tends to be my eyes, so the eye primer is a big favourite and really does make a difference for the longevity to your eyeshadow.
Do you prime your face? Do you have any favourite brands you can reccommend?
I'm On The Move
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| Image from here |
Mr Black's best friend "The Drunk Godfather" is on his way over from the other side of the country today, and Bluey has come down with conjunctivitis so he's home from school whilst I madly clean the house.
This means I won't be here until later tonight (which is pending...hoping to get my weekly beauty post up then, so don't forget to check back!), but you can find me over on The Good, The Bad & The Unnecessary today.
Kellie has been kind enough to let me borrow her blog for a bit of a dilemma we have been having with Greenie getting in touch with his animalistic side.
CHECK IT OUT NOW!
While you're over there click "follow" on Kellie's fabulous blog, it is exactly as the title says. She is a South Australian gal (who I believe just lost her way from the Southwest of Sydney) who will promise to say the inappropriate and make you laugh. You can also follow her on Twitter and Facebook.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Getting my Grumble On.
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| Image from here |
Weekends.
Lots of people get excited for them.
Not me.
What's the hype anyway?
Mr Black is home, adding another voice to the mix of demands, wants, "needs".
We are usually so busy you can't squeeze in the time to use the toilet, or we have so little to do that we are watching dust fall.
My kids, they get up earlier on the weekend. Yes, the weekend, the only time I can squeeze in a bit of a snooze in the morning, except, well I can't.
People are more likley to "just drop in". A pet hate of mine.
The house is messier.
I am grumpier.
Weekends.
Give me the structure of a weekday any day.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Inside.
It's dark.
My hair falls over my face.
It alsmot feels like a shield.
Heavy dark drops run down my cheecks.
I am silent.
Movement is too loud.
Talking is too loud.
Yet silence is deafening.
I close my eyes willing sleep to come.
An escape for a moment.
A break.
Sleep evades me once again.
Did you know if you cut me ope what you would find?
There would be no pink,
No red,
No fleshy organs throbbing with the fresh blood from my heart.
Inside of me you would find blackness
Holes
A decayed mess
I am rotten.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
A Space In This Place
It's all well and good for me to tell you how how I'm doing my hair, or putting my makeup on, but it's important to have a good workspace. Or play space. One that suits you and your needs.
For me that means order and tidiness. A place for everything, and everything in it's place. Things that I use the most often easier to access than things that are rarely used.
It all makes sense right?
Well, take a look....
Now I've shown you mine, it's your turn to show me yours.
For some reason the writing on the video seems to have gone funky. It works fine on my computer, but occasionally goes blurry when uploaded onto my blog. I am sorry, I have spent the better part of the day trying to fix it, this is why this post is up so late. Just pretend it said something really funny, or insightful or something.
For me that means order and tidiness. A place for everything, and everything in it's place. Things that I use the most often easier to access than things that are rarely used.
It all makes sense right?
Well, take a look....
No copyright intended.
Now I've shown you mine, it's your turn to show me yours.
For some reason the writing on the video seems to have gone funky. It works fine on my computer, but occasionally goes blurry when uploaded onto my blog. I am sorry, I have spent the better part of the day trying to fix it, this is why this post is up so late. Just pretend it said something really funny, or insightful or something.
Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!
Ok, I know you're all dying to know who won my fabulous giveaway, right?
If you are a winner please make sure you contact me with your postal details asap. If I have not heard from you by 2pm Friday 21st October, I will re-draw. I want to get this information off as fast as possible so the other winners can get their stuff too.
Remember you will be receiving 2 of the Garnier BB Miricle Perfector Cream's, one in light the other in medium.
Good luck!
The winners of the Garnier BB Miricle Perfector Cream are....
*drumroll*
Kirri White
Y Vonne
Kooklal23
MummyK
Pauling Tan
Tanya
Due to a redraw, could the following 4 people please contact me with their postal details before 4pm Sunday 23rd October:
Kellie
Chont
Cate
Barbara
Congrautulations!
If you are a winner please make sure you contact me with your postal details asap. If I have not heard from you by 2pm Friday 21st October, I will re-draw. I want to get this information off as fast as possible so the other winners can get their stuff too.
Remember you will be receiving 2 of the Garnier BB Miricle Perfector Cream's, one in light the other in medium.
Good luck!
The winners of the Garnier BB Miricle Perfector Cream are....
*drumroll*
Kirri White
Y Vonne
Kooklal23
MummyK
Pauling Tan
Tanya
Due to a redraw, could the following 4 people please contact me with their postal details before 4pm Sunday 23rd October:
Kellie
Chont
Cate
Barbara
Congrautulations!
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Fuck You and Your Opinions
In the last 5 years there have been things that have come to light that I had never before considered to cause me to have a sensation to stab someone with a hot poker, or maybe a fork.
Becoming a parent evokes a passion in you like no other.
Firstly to protect your offspring at all costs.
In the 5 years I've been a mother, of all the things I have been made to feel like I need to explain for justify, breast vs. bottle, cloth vs. disposable, smack vs. not smack, circumcision vs. intact, stroller vs. pram, video games v.s board games.....and so the list goes on, none has bothered me more than my decision to stay at home with my children.
The problem with this debate is EVERYONE has an opinion.
If I had a dollar for every time someone said to me "Lucky you don't have to work", or "But you do nothing all day!", or "You have it easy" I would be very rich indeed.
Firstly, fuck off. Being a full time mother is tough as fucking nails. The hardest part? There is no downtime. When you don't have a paid out of the home job asking for a little "me time" is a sin. How DARE I want to go to the toilet in peace, how DARE I want to do the groceries for half an hour by myself so I can hear my thoughts and not get everything that isn't on my list, how DARE I want to get 8 solid hours of sleep because I haven't had that in 5 years!
Once you become a mother work almost seems like a reward. A guilt free way for getting out of kid mode and just doing your own thing, even if it is a specific work related thing. I've had many mothers agree to having those feelings regarding work, and I agree.
If you're a stay at home mum, having your kids in childcare is selfish. Nothing having them there is not meeting some social "need". You are always expected to have your house resembling something out of a home decorating magazine, with freshly baked goods wafting from the kitchen.
If you're at home with your kids, it is assumed that you "do not work". I feel for those mothers who work from the home, or who work night shifts, or who are carers (of one of their children or another family member with special needs).
In many ways getting a job and answering the phone all day is much easier than what I do.
I never have a moment to just be. I am forever doing multiple things at a time, and boy do I want to slow down but no one will let me. I won't even let myself because I "do nothing all day" so I need to be doing something right?
Well I'm tired of being told I do nothing. I'm tired of earning nothing for doing the most important job in the world. Shaping our future. Of being told that teaching my children the difference between wrong and right and why we have laws and rules we have to follow and why we consider others in the hopes that they won't become criminals. Of kissing and cuddling them when sometimes I just want to run away because they need it.
Most of all? I'm tired of you and your opinions that I do nothing, but when something goes wrong you'll be pointing your finger at me.
Stop making assumptions.
Start respecting the mothers in this world.
Just remember we're raising an army.
Becoming a parent evokes a passion in you like no other.
Firstly to protect your offspring at all costs.
In the 5 years I've been a mother, of all the things I have been made to feel like I need to explain for justify, breast vs. bottle, cloth vs. disposable, smack vs. not smack, circumcision vs. intact, stroller vs. pram, video games v.s board games.....and so the list goes on, none has bothered me more than my decision to stay at home with my children.
 |
| Image from here |
The problem with this debate is EVERYONE has an opinion.
If I had a dollar for every time someone said to me "Lucky you don't have to work", or "But you do nothing all day!", or "You have it easy" I would be very rich indeed.
Firstly, fuck off. Being a full time mother is tough as fucking nails. The hardest part? There is no downtime. When you don't have a paid out of the home job asking for a little "me time" is a sin. How DARE I want to go to the toilet in peace, how DARE I want to do the groceries for half an hour by myself so I can hear my thoughts and not get everything that isn't on my list, how DARE I want to get 8 solid hours of sleep because I haven't had that in 5 years!
Once you become a mother work almost seems like a reward. A guilt free way for getting out of kid mode and just doing your own thing, even if it is a specific work related thing. I've had many mothers agree to having those feelings regarding work, and I agree.
If you're a stay at home mum, having your kids in childcare is selfish. Nothing having them there is not meeting some social "need". You are always expected to have your house resembling something out of a home decorating magazine, with freshly baked goods wafting from the kitchen.
If you're at home with your kids, it is assumed that you "do not work". I feel for those mothers who work from the home, or who work night shifts, or who are carers (of one of their children or another family member with special needs).
In many ways getting a job and answering the phone all day is much easier than what I do.
I never have a moment to just be. I am forever doing multiple things at a time, and boy do I want to slow down but no one will let me. I won't even let myself because I "do nothing all day" so I need to be doing something right?
Well I'm tired of being told I do nothing. I'm tired of earning nothing for doing the most important job in the world. Shaping our future. Of being told that teaching my children the difference between wrong and right and why we have laws and rules we have to follow and why we consider others in the hopes that they won't become criminals. Of kissing and cuddling them when sometimes I just want to run away because they need it.
Most of all? I'm tired of you and your opinions that I do nothing, but when something goes wrong you'll be pointing your finger at me.
Stop making assumptions.
Start respecting the mothers in this world.
Just remember we're raising an army.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Where Do I Go From Here?
Social anxiety is a lot like any other anxiety, or even depression.
It's not always prevalent. You're not always on the edge of a massive break down.
It is always there though, bubbling under the surface, threatening to take you down.
I have days where I'm ok. I have those bad feelings, but I'm ok.
Then I have the days where I'm not. I'm distracted, busy, shaky, forgetful, and messy.
Those days are usually an indication I need to slow down, take some time out, and shut off from the world for a bit.
But what do you do when you can't?
What do you do when you have a birthday party to attend, your own no less, that you would do anything to avoid? When you have several things lined up, which you cannot cancel, people are depending on you, you have things that need to be done, groceries brought, promises made....
The last 2-3weeks all I have wanted is my cave.
When I have stuff to do, I can usually rush it out and then hide away in a couple of days.
Re-group. Re-energise. Re-strengthen.
Right now? I can't see an end in sight, and I can feel it affecting me outwardly, not just inside.
It took me 4 hours to fall asleep last night. Four long bloody hours. I kept starting to dream, starting to drift off only to startle myself with a thought. Irrelevant stuff. Sometimes I wasn't even sure what that thought was, but it was a bit like when you're falling asleep and you remember you forget to lock the door, only it wasn't things like that. It was things like "Nobody will turn up to your party, they don't like you." "You're too clingy, give people room to breathe." "People only talk to you because they don't want to be rude. See, they never seek you out, because they don't like you."
Why the fuck am I thinking this stuff?
Really, who cares about that at 2am.
I do care though. I do worry about having no one.
I do care that this stuff seems to be somewhat important to me enough to zap my ability to write. So many great things going on in my mind that I cannot get out. I can't say the words I want to, I need to.
Where do I go from here?
It's not always prevalent. You're not always on the edge of a massive break down.
It is always there though, bubbling under the surface, threatening to take you down.
 |
| Image from here |
I have days where I'm ok. I have those bad feelings, but I'm ok.
Then I have the days where I'm not. I'm distracted, busy, shaky, forgetful, and messy.
Those days are usually an indication I need to slow down, take some time out, and shut off from the world for a bit.
But what do you do when you can't?
What do you do when you have a birthday party to attend, your own no less, that you would do anything to avoid? When you have several things lined up, which you cannot cancel, people are depending on you, you have things that need to be done, groceries brought, promises made....
The last 2-3weeks all I have wanted is my cave.
When I have stuff to do, I can usually rush it out and then hide away in a couple of days.
Re-group. Re-energise. Re-strengthen.
Right now? I can't see an end in sight, and I can feel it affecting me outwardly, not just inside.
It took me 4 hours to fall asleep last night. Four long bloody hours. I kept starting to dream, starting to drift off only to startle myself with a thought. Irrelevant stuff. Sometimes I wasn't even sure what that thought was, but it was a bit like when you're falling asleep and you remember you forget to lock the door, only it wasn't things like that. It was things like "Nobody will turn up to your party, they don't like you." "You're too clingy, give people room to breathe." "People only talk to you because they don't want to be rude. See, they never seek you out, because they don't like you."
Why the fuck am I thinking this stuff?
Really, who cares about that at 2am.
I do care though. I do worry about having no one.
I do care that this stuff seems to be somewhat important to me enough to zap my ability to write. So many great things going on in my mind that I cannot get out. I can't say the words I want to, I need to.
Where do I go from here?
Monday, October 10, 2011
Little Fists
Last week Louisa from Everything Is Edible wrote this heartfelt post called Unwelcome about her personal experience with bullying and her fears for her children. It was something that spoke loudly to me and before I knew it I had a very long comment that had turned into my own story. A story I am going to share with you today.
Growing up I was bullied pretty badly.
I was the person that people would invite into their friendship group only to pick on or to get something from.
I remember times where people would ask me to sit with them at lunch, I would feel really excited to not have to sit by myself, only for them to all stare at me and ask me a million questions and laugh at my answers. To bait me to make a fool of myself basically. Only I wasn't. I was being me, and they just decided that whatever "me" was, would be the most daggy thing of the moment. Or they would only talk to me if they wanted something, answers to the homework, or someone to do something for them, I even recall times where people would ask me to spend my canteen money on them so I could be their friend for the day.
Much like my adulthood I wasn't an emotional child. I held it all in hoping that eventually I would "pass their tests", that I would be deemed "friend worthy". I said nothing to anyone and it broke me in many ways.
People don't see those cracks on the inside though.
I have a wicked sense of humour so it got a little better in high school. I had to turn a blind eye to a lot, but my younger years had trained me for that. I learnt to be a chameleon.
The sad thing is that at 14 I realised that all these people, they weren't "friends" just faces in my life, and I completely disconnected. I became reckless and mysterious.
Now I don't know how to make friends. I don't know how to be a friend. I basically have no social awareness. I say the wrong things, I do the wrong things, even though I'm trying so hard to get it right.
For me, I am honest, I am trustworthy, I am loyal, but I am also unfiltered, intense, and impulsive.
I have never admitted aloud to anyone the sheer relief I feel in being the mother of boys.
Bullying does still scare me because I know it can happen to boys too. Like when it was happening to Bluey earlier this year I was dying on the inside. I wanted to go down to the school and shake that kid and shout "What the fuck do you think you are doing hurting another child!"
Still it takes the edge off to think that I don't have a daughter who will have exactly the same experience. An experience I wouldn't be able to guide her in because I don't know what to do.
I am all to aware of bullying though, and I am hard on my kids about being kind to others. I feel utter despair to think that they may make someone else feel how I was made to feel.
That they may have to go through what I did.
That they may be told to "toughen up" or to "get over it" like I have many times.
Bullying it scars. Scars don't heal, they only fade.
Growing up I was bullied pretty badly.
I was the person that people would invite into their friendship group only to pick on or to get something from.
I remember times where people would ask me to sit with them at lunch, I would feel really excited to not have to sit by myself, only for them to all stare at me and ask me a million questions and laugh at my answers. To bait me to make a fool of myself basically. Only I wasn't. I was being me, and they just decided that whatever "me" was, would be the most daggy thing of the moment. Or they would only talk to me if they wanted something, answers to the homework, or someone to do something for them, I even recall times where people would ask me to spend my canteen money on them so I could be their friend for the day.
Much like my adulthood I wasn't an emotional child. I held it all in hoping that eventually I would "pass their tests", that I would be deemed "friend worthy". I said nothing to anyone and it broke me in many ways.
People don't see those cracks on the inside though.
I have a wicked sense of humour so it got a little better in high school. I had to turn a blind eye to a lot, but my younger years had trained me for that. I learnt to be a chameleon.
The sad thing is that at 14 I realised that all these people, they weren't "friends" just faces in my life, and I completely disconnected. I became reckless and mysterious.
Now I don't know how to make friends. I don't know how to be a friend. I basically have no social awareness. I say the wrong things, I do the wrong things, even though I'm trying so hard to get it right.
For me, I am honest, I am trustworthy, I am loyal, but I am also unfiltered, intense, and impulsive.
I have never admitted aloud to anyone the sheer relief I feel in being the mother of boys.
Bullying does still scare me because I know it can happen to boys too. Like when it was happening to Bluey earlier this year I was dying on the inside. I wanted to go down to the school and shake that kid and shout "What the fuck do you think you are doing hurting another child!"
Still it takes the edge off to think that I don't have a daughter who will have exactly the same experience. An experience I wouldn't be able to guide her in because I don't know what to do.
I am all to aware of bullying though, and I am hard on my kids about being kind to others. I feel utter despair to think that they may make someone else feel how I was made to feel.
That they may have to go through what I did.
That they may be told to "toughen up" or to "get over it" like I have many times.
Bullying it scars. Scars don't heal, they only fade.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Winners!
Thank you to everyone who entered the Baby Bowl Giveaway.
If you are a winner please contact me with your postal details so that I can get the book out to you as soon as possible.
If I have not received contact before Friday the 14th of October, then you will forefiet your prize and I will have to redraw.
I have drawn the winners and I'm happy to announce that the three readers who will be receiving a copy of this book for themselves are....
*drumroll*
Stakky32, Sarah and Sawhole.
Congratulations!!
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
The Bloggy Crack
It's a question many bloggers are probably asking themselves as you write, How do I get this post to get comments?It doesn't make you a comment whore to admit you enjoy getting feedback and hearing what others are thinking. You wouldn't like to catch up with someone for coffee and sit there the entire time talking for them not to say a single word, right? It'd be awkward, and so is putting a post out there to get nothing back.
Last week on one of my favourite blogs, And Then There Were Four, Multiple Mum wrote about Getting Comments On Your Blog and how she feels it's important to "take the time to interact with your readers (most if whom are bloggers just like you)."
I couldn't agree more.
However, are we really expected to follow hundreds of blogs and be reading and commenting on every single post? I don't know about you but I simply do not have that time (although I wish I did!) and I do not expect it from others. I think popping in at least once a week, and more often if you can manage it is nice blogging etiquette.
Today I'm going to share with you what makes me leave a comment, and what doesn't.
It might be different for you, and please feel free to leave a comment adding your thoughts because I want to know what gets you to comment too!
Things that stop me from commenting:
-If I read your post and then get distracted, if find it hard to come back. Your post needs to make me NEED to comment right now. Not in 5 seconds, NOW.
- Reading a topic that seems to be trending in bloggy land. It happens, there are always trends, and you should share your story, but make your story stand out, use a different angle or something else that will pull me in. If you write something that someone else has written and they've written it better than you...well I will comment there. Blogging can be as much about topic as it can timing, and sometimes you may need to hold off on that post until the craze dies down.
- If I'm swamped with posts the time I have to read and comment will obviously be shortened. I always try to at least read, but this again is where your post needs to jump out at me.
Things that make me comment include:
- A post that leaves me feeling like I have something to say and I need to say it NOW. If you can turn the smallest story into something that hypnotises me, I may just hit the follow button.
- If there are no comments, I tend to want to comment a little more, because I know what it's like to put yourself out there and wait, and wait, and wait for someone to say something, anything, even if they think it was a rubbish post, just let me know!
- Bloggers I'm engaged with and feel like I have a strong connection or friendship with. It's like catching up for coffee, you're sharing a recent tale/an old tale/a thought/an opinion and my job as your friend is to give you feedback, to agree or disagree or simply to let you know I heard you.
- Posts that ask me about me to share my own stories or opinions. I want to answer your questions and let you know my story after hearing yours. I need to feel like you're interested in me too.
- Twitter. Twitter has a big part in how I bond with bloggy peeps. Twitter is with me everywhere I go, and having people link me to their recent blog posts and letting me know what it's about can sometimes capture my attention faster than going through my google reader, which is longer. I click, I'm on your blog and reading.
- Being a good bloggy friend. This means you need to be engaged with me. Thing is as much as I'd like to, I can't follow everyone. If your name is popping up all over my blog, Twitter or Facebook then I'm going to get curious and start looking into who you are. Likewise if I am never having interaction from you, my interest in your blog will eventually die off.
And;
- Make what you say count. This is my biggest rule in blogging. I am not one who thinks that there is a one set list of rules for all, you need to make your own up to suit your blog and your goals, but this is a rule I think everyone could use and adapt to suit them. There is no point commenting on a blog post without staying within the theme or topic of that post. If you're commenting on lots of blogs with the same generic thing "Thanks for sharing" that gives me, the writer, nothing. What part part did you enjoy the most? Do you share similar thoughts or experiences? Why/Why not? Open a dialogue, tell me something about you in relation to the post. And remember, it's ok to disagree. You can say that you disagree, but explain why, and keep in mind that we all have different experiences so it's ok for people not to agree with you too.
So, what makes you want to comment on a blog? And what stops you from commenting? Are you afraid to say you disagree?
Last week on one of my favourite blogs, And Then There Were Four, Multiple Mum wrote about Getting Comments On Your Blog and how she feels it's important to "take the time to interact with your readers (most if whom are bloggers just like you)."
I couldn't agree more.
However, are we really expected to follow hundreds of blogs and be reading and commenting on every single post? I don't know about you but I simply do not have that time (although I wish I did!) and I do not expect it from others. I think popping in at least once a week, and more often if you can manage it is nice blogging etiquette.
Today I'm going to share with you what makes me leave a comment, and what doesn't.
It might be different for you, and please feel free to leave a comment adding your thoughts because I want to know what gets you to comment too!
 |
| Image from here |
Things that stop me from commenting:
-If I read your post and then get distracted, if find it hard to come back. Your post needs to make me NEED to comment right now. Not in 5 seconds, NOW.
- Reading a topic that seems to be trending in bloggy land. It happens, there are always trends, and you should share your story, but make your story stand out, use a different angle or something else that will pull me in. If you write something that someone else has written and they've written it better than you...well I will comment there. Blogging can be as much about topic as it can timing, and sometimes you may need to hold off on that post until the craze dies down.
- If I'm swamped with posts the time I have to read and comment will obviously be shortened. I always try to at least read, but this again is where your post needs to jump out at me.
Things that make me comment include:
- A post that leaves me feeling like I have something to say and I need to say it NOW. If you can turn the smallest story into something that hypnotises me, I may just hit the follow button.
- If there are no comments, I tend to want to comment a little more, because I know what it's like to put yourself out there and wait, and wait, and wait for someone to say something, anything, even if they think it was a rubbish post, just let me know!
- Bloggers I'm engaged with and feel like I have a strong connection or friendship with. It's like catching up for coffee, you're sharing a recent tale/an old tale/a thought/an opinion and my job as your friend is to give you feedback, to agree or disagree or simply to let you know I heard you.
- Posts that ask me about me to share my own stories or opinions. I want to answer your questions and let you know my story after hearing yours. I need to feel like you're interested in me too.
- Twitter. Twitter has a big part in how I bond with bloggy peeps. Twitter is with me everywhere I go, and having people link me to their recent blog posts and letting me know what it's about can sometimes capture my attention faster than going through my google reader, which is longer. I click, I'm on your blog and reading.
- Being a good bloggy friend. This means you need to be engaged with me. Thing is as much as I'd like to, I can't follow everyone. If your name is popping up all over my blog, Twitter or Facebook then I'm going to get curious and start looking into who you are. Likewise if I am never having interaction from you, my interest in your blog will eventually die off.
And;
- Make what you say count. This is my biggest rule in blogging. I am not one who thinks that there is a one set list of rules for all, you need to make your own up to suit your blog and your goals, but this is a rule I think everyone could use and adapt to suit them. There is no point commenting on a blog post without staying within the theme or topic of that post. If you're commenting on lots of blogs with the same generic thing "Thanks for sharing" that gives me, the writer, nothing. What part part did you enjoy the most? Do you share similar thoughts or experiences? Why/Why not? Open a dialogue, tell me something about you in relation to the post. And remember, it's ok to disagree. You can say that you disagree, but explain why, and keep in mind that we all have different experiences so it's ok for people not to agree with you too.
So, what makes you want to comment on a blog? And what stops you from commenting? Are you afraid to say you disagree?
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Pimp My Ride
Running
Pat-pat-pat-pat-pat-pat-pat.
A sound, inside my head. The sound of peace. Of comfort.
Insomnia.
I know a few of us out there in blog-land suffer it. It's how we come to have blogs isn't it? With all that extra time we acquire by not sleeping?
Insomnia is a bit different for me.
My insomnia isn't productive in the slightest. I get tired around a decent time, i go to bed only to lay awake for hours tossing and turning trying to fall asleep.
I have tried it all. Long hot bath before bed, reading a book for a bit, a warm glass of milk. None of it works. Sure they make me sleepy, but as soon as my head hits the pillow it is like a highway of thoughts come flooding through my mind. Thoughts that are racing, busy, and never ending.
And what do i do to calm those thoughts? I run.
In times of stress, or anxiety i often feel a desire to run. I know it's because i want to run away from a situation, a problem, and that this isn't necessarily healthy, that i need to stay, face the problem, because it will still be there later. So i don't run. That, and my extreme laziness.
But of a night the comfort of steering my thoughts and taking myself on that run. The damp air, the pounding of my feet on the wet cement, the breathlessness that i am feeling by being in bed becomes the panting of the run.
It still takes me hours to fall asleep, but i do fall asleep eventually. I run, and i tire my mind out i guess. I keep all those rushing thoughts away.
Of course some nights no matter how much "running" i do, those thoughts are always faster, they keep up with me and I'm forced to lay there overwhelmed and try to pick through the thoughts enough that they will be satisfied and let me rest.
What about you? Do you take a dream run? What helps you to fall asleep when you simply can't?
A sound, inside my head. The sound of peace. Of comfort.
 |
| Image from here |
Insomnia.
I know a few of us out there in blog-land suffer it. It's how we come to have blogs isn't it? With all that extra time we acquire by not sleeping?
Insomnia is a bit different for me.
My insomnia isn't productive in the slightest. I get tired around a decent time, i go to bed only to lay awake for hours tossing and turning trying to fall asleep.
I have tried it all. Long hot bath before bed, reading a book for a bit, a warm glass of milk. None of it works. Sure they make me sleepy, but as soon as my head hits the pillow it is like a highway of thoughts come flooding through my mind. Thoughts that are racing, busy, and never ending.
And what do i do to calm those thoughts? I run.
In times of stress, or anxiety i often feel a desire to run. I know it's because i want to run away from a situation, a problem, and that this isn't necessarily healthy, that i need to stay, face the problem, because it will still be there later. So i don't run. That, and my extreme laziness.
But of a night the comfort of steering my thoughts and taking myself on that run. The damp air, the pounding of my feet on the wet cement, the breathlessness that i am feeling by being in bed becomes the panting of the run.
It still takes me hours to fall asleep, but i do fall asleep eventually. I run, and i tire my mind out i guess. I keep all those rushing thoughts away.
Of course some nights no matter how much "running" i do, those thoughts are always faster, they keep up with me and I'm forced to lay there overwhelmed and try to pick through the thoughts enough that they will be satisfied and let me rest.
What about you? Do you take a dream run? What helps you to fall asleep when you simply can't?
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Facing Perfection - Giveaway.
So far we've talked about hair colour, cleansing, going that extra step with weekly face masks and deep down scrubs, and the ugly first week of getting a piercing.
Now let's talk about base.
No not first base for all of you with your minds in the gutter, but the base for your face . Ohhh did you see how I just rhymed there?
Moisturising my face has been something I spent the first 10 years of my "skincare" (starting in puberty) life ignoring. It seemed to only cause me to break out worse despite buying the "oil free" moisturisers and so I thought of it as "useless".
It wasn't until getting older that I started to realise the trick to helping to keep wrinkles at bay and it was moisturising. Better yet a moisturiser and light sunscreen combined with a vitamin C derivative, all of which The BB Miracle Perfector Cream by Garnier contain.
They say seeing is believing, so see for yourself just how it works.
For extra chances to win Tweet or Facebook this giveaway and leave a separate comment for each letting me know you have done so.
This is giveaway is open to Australian Residents only, sorry.
Entries close Midnight Sunday the 16th October.
Winners will be drawn using random.org and notified here on the blog on Monday the 17th October.
Disclaimer: I was sent 2 of the Garnier Miracle Skin Perfector 50ml creams, one in light and the other in medium to review, as well as the giveaway prizes in exchange for this post.I was not paid any money for this post, and all opinions are strictly my own.
Now let's talk about base.
No not first base for all of you with your minds in the gutter, but the base for your face . Ohhh did you see how I just rhymed there?
Moisturising my face has been something I spent the first 10 years of my "skincare" (starting in puberty) life ignoring. It seemed to only cause me to break out worse despite buying the "oil free" moisturisers and so I thought of it as "useless".
It wasn't until getting older that I started to realise the trick to helping to keep wrinkles at bay and it was moisturising. Better yet a moisturiser and light sunscreen combined with a vitamin C derivative, all of which The BB Miracle Perfector Cream by Garnier contain.
They say seeing is believing, so see for yourself just how it works.
For extra chances to win Tweet or Facebook this giveaway and leave a separate comment for each letting me know you have done so.
This is giveaway is open to Australian Residents only, sorry.
Entries close Midnight Sunday the 16th October.
Winners will be drawn using random.org and notified here on the blog on Monday the 17th October.
Disclaimer: I was sent 2 of the Garnier Miracle Skin Perfector 50ml creams, one in light and the other in medium to review, as well as the giveaway prizes in exchange for this post.I was not paid any money for this post, and all opinions are strictly my own.
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