Naked Holidays

Are you a holidaying family?
We aren't.
I think part of it may be because of my personal experiences as a child.

I was raised by hippies whose idea of a "family holiday" was to go camping at the local nudist resort.

I shit you not.

In the mood for a left of centre holiday? Image credit.

It's one thing when you're a small child, you know before school years, but it's another thing entirely when you're 12 years old, just starting puberty, feeling awkward enough with clothes on and dragged off for a "family fun" holiday at the local nudist resort. I begged my parents to "Please let me stay at a friends for the weekend. Even my grandparents! Please just don't make me go!" But my cries fell on hippy ears which I am sure were read as "I'm needing some quality time with mother nature in my birthday suit." as they still dragged me along. I protested by wearing clothes, because really, I ain't taking my gear off, and then I felt awkward the entire holiday because my little sister and I are the only one's wearing clothes.


But what do you DO at a nudist resort?
Now, maybe it was because I was in bed asleep, but I don't remember an orgy's. What I do remember from my "frequent flyer nudist resort pass" is activities such as pedal boats, camping, days by the pool or in the spa, nature walks, river swimming, and disco's.
Yes, naked dancing. No, please don't think about it too much.
Not to mention I don't even want to think about what all those chairs have seen. *Shudders*

So my parents? Basically they could be really embarrassing, and in the "I hear you saying this is embarrassing but free your spirit and do it anyway even if you are socially exiled" kind of way.

Did your parents ever done something to completely embarrass you? Tell me about it.

Top 5 Daily Must Haves.

I don't always have the time to play around with my makeup or to do a whole face.

If we're honest, I don't always want to.

I have learnt that sticking to these 5 products does make that much of a difference to how I feel about my appearance on that day.

#1 Olay Complete Defence $14.69. It doesn't matter if I don't wear any makeup at all. I always pop this on. This way I know I am hydrating my skin as well as protecting it.

#2 Napoleon Mighty Concealer Pen $35. I need a concealer always. I have dark circles under my eyes, and I still break out quite frequently. I love Napoleons concealer because of the built in brush, and also the way the colour quickly blends into mine, so rather than it being a sticky concealer it's a thinner texture so I can smooth it out easily.

#3 The Body Shop Brush on Bronzer $38.95. Some day's I completely skip any foundation. Especially if I want to give my skin the chance to breathe. On those days I like to do a quick light sweep of this bronzer over my face after popping on the concealer. It gives me a little colour and I can use it as a light blush to my cheeks.

#4 Revlon CustomEyes $23.95. I love that you can change the way this mascara works. I'm not into the thick lashes look and generally use mascara to lengthen, so it usually sits on 1 for me. However when going out for the night I like to flick it over to 2 and create some definition before popping it back on 1 and running it through a second time.
Just running a bit of mascara through your lashes will really change your look and take it to the next level, so this is why it's a daily must have.

#5 Maybelline New York Baby Lips Lip Balm $3.95. I always have a lip gloss handy. I picked this up one day when I realised that it was cheaper than a chapstick. Yes, a chapstick. (Yes I am cheap). I didn't expect great things from it, I figured the texture would probably be grainy or it wouldn't hydrate my lips properly but I've been using it for 2 months now and I am loving it, dare I say more.

I also love the cute colours on the outside.


What are your top 5 daily must haves?

Snakes and Snails or Sugar and Spice?

Image credit.

"And....right now you can see the baby's genitals. Care to guess what it is?"

It was from that moment, at 19 years 3 months and 7 days that I knew I was going to be the mother of a boy.
Relief washed over me.
I never wanted Bluey to be a girl.
I have always felt an awkward void between girls. My friendships with females shorter, my words more heavily guarded, the connection more superficial.
I felt like girls didn't understand my sarcastic silliness. They they needed to be conditioned. To be told what they want to hear vs. what I actually thought.
It was all games. Something I felt too impatient for.

Being a mother to boys has come natural to me. It's grounded me. It's educated me. It has filled me up with more love than I dared dream could come my way.
So there was no shock when we found out Greenie was a boy too.
It felt right. I actually remember feeling a little relieved.
It was comfy. It was what I knew.

I love being a mother to my boys. Nothing, NOTHING will ever change that. There isn't a second that I have wished them to be girls.

I'd still love to have a girl sometimes. To add a girl, I should clarify.
When I walk into the stores and see all the pink, the frills, the adorable vintage outfits, the accessories for girls.
To have a "mini" me, because neither of my kids look anything like me.

Have you ever wanted to be the parent of a boy or girl specifically? Do your children look like you? Maybe they resemble you in other ways? Did you find out the gender of your baby before it was born? How did you feel when you heard the news?

Will We Ever Be Free?

Image credit.

Bluey has always marched to the beat of his own drum.
For the most part it has all been harmless good fun. He is a bright, happy, loving little boy, who understands that honesty is the best policy, and is always looking out for others.
So when Bluey was two years old and exclaimed that he "wants to put on makeup like mummy" I don't bat an eyelid, and let him go for it. When at three he says "Can I paint my nails too?" I say "Sure thing! What colour do you want?" When at four years old he pestered me to have tea parties, I warm some milk and butter up some arrowroot's and we put our pinky's up. When my five year old picks dancing over all the other sports choices at school I tell him "You're a superstar mate".

Why do others think they can predict his sexuality from such a young age?

People don't assume the little girl who loves to kick a ball around is going to be a lesbian, or if she wears shorts it will make her a transgender, or that if she wrestles with daddy he will "make her gay" a phrase which makes me shudder. Why do people feel that little boys should be acting and dressing in certain ways?
Why does my son have to be defined by stereotypes and others opinions. Isn't how he feels about himself more important? Isn't his happiness the common goal we all share?

I can assure you sexuality isn't something that has crossed either of my children's minds. When it does? We will be honest. I've explained that we can love boys AND girls. We love people for who they are on the inside, and we love each person differently.
That who we love doesn't make us as "bad" or as "wrong" as what colour our hair, eyes or skin are. It's just another thing that is a part of who we are, and you will have people love you regardless.

Truth is, I do still worry about the bullying and torment one can face, yes even in this day and age. It is really sad that such an educated generation still faces the shame and ostracism that people dealt with decades ago.

So when Greenie, my youngest son starts to ask these questions, I oblige with a smile. We are bonding. We are having fun, and who gives a fuck if he's playing with makeup at two years old, or if he's dressing up in mummy's heels at sixteen. It's not going to change how much I love my kids, and it shouldn't change how much the world loves them either.

Little Hero Hosting - Winner!

It's time for the news I know you've all been on the edge of your seat waiting for!
Who is the winner of the ginormous Little Hero Hosting Package?
Firstly thank you to Michelle from Little Hero Hosting for allowing this prize to go ahead, and for all her help along the way, as well as in deciding the winner.
Thank you to everyone who entered. Some entries made me laugh, others told stories that touched my heart.

In the end the winner was chosen because they were inspiring, honest, and talked about blogging being a self journey with the focus on connection vs. popularity.

With that I am happy to announce the winner is...

Image credit.

Diana Nolan

Congratulations!
Please check your inbox for an email from me with congratulations and details about how to claim your prize.

Ugly

I have had a fair bit running through my mind lately, and while my blog certainly isn't solely about my insecurities, and it's not going to become solely about them any time soon, I do have a lot that I could write about. Due to this I have created a segment called "The Black Files". When I write anything I consider to fall under "The Black Files" you will see this icon to warn you that things written below may be triggering for some, and generally just emo for everyone else.

Just a little disclaimer, I do not write these posts with the expectation to pull a lot of comments, nor I do not publish these posts for a "woe is me" effect. However do feel free to leave a comment if you have something you would like to say or contact me privately if you also wish.

Image credit.

I understand more deeply than anyone how that word can be twisted and turned.

I know that when you look at my exterior I am nothing more than a "regular Joe"
That people do make their first impressions on the way someone looks.
It can be both a blessing and curse.

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand.

Cracks appear
It's apparently a sign of age
Of having lived life
Seen things
I'd give all my experiences back for a little peace.

When everythings made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am.

Sometimes I want to cut my face off.
Slash it up.
I want to resemble my interior.
The messy, dark rotten core of who I am.
I want people to see that I am not this sweet soft little girl but rather a decaying mess
Looks can be deceiving.



Song credit: Iris, The Goo Goo Dolls

Up, Up & Away With Housework Today!

Chances are most of us? We aren't domestic goddesses, and if we are? We have other ways we'd rather spend our time. Cutting down on the amount of time you spend on housework, or the frequency of needing to do said housework is a common goal for everyone.

When this showed up on my doorstep I was so excited that I may have gotten a tad carried away.

Bonus points for super cute packaging!

Sabco's "Break Up Kit"; Soft Grip Window Squeegee, Lint Buddy, Radial Antibacterial Dish Brush, Iron Scrub Scrub Brush, Nail brush, Microfingers Duster, Delicate Surface Cloth, 2 in 1 Kitchen and Dish Sponge (2 pack), and Kleenex tissues.

But I'm going to hand this over to my house cleaning guru...
 

 
The nitty gritty.
Sabco are hosting a giveaway on their Facebook page. To win one of ten packs like I was sent, all you need to do is head on over here, like their page, and answer the question.
 
For more chances to win keep an eye out on these fabulous blogs. When their post goes live, you will have another chance to enter.
Segovia
Amanda's Mummy Jeans
Madam Bipolar
Singular Insanity
Daisy Roo & Two
Eat Play Bond

I was sent Sabco's "Break Up Kit" to review. No cash payment was received.

Parents. You have been warned.

Firstly, my guest poster from yesterday wanted me to pass on her thanks to all who commented on her post. You have all said such wonderful and kind things, so thank you from both her and myself.

My kids aren't perfect.
They're far from it.
They're still learning as are all kids, but I try my best to guide them into making the best decisions possible. Not just for themselves but others around them.

Something that really annoys though is the lack of manners and respect of some children these days.
What pisses me off even more is when their parents don't pull them up on it. I've had 5 year olds tell me to "fuck off" and their parent hasn't so much as batted an eyelid.
Excuse me? Are you really ok with your child talking like that to another adult?
I'm sure you'd rather pretend that it didn't happen, I know I would too, but it did. Pull your kid up. At the very least tell them it's not on when they are pushing my toddler over, or damaging my property.

I am not shy in pulling others children up if need be. I will simply ask them to stop something, or to apologise.
What I need from you is backup.
Otherwise please understand I will stop arranging and accepting play dates with you and your child, I won't want to stop and chat if we run into one another, and if my children start to mimic your child's bad behaviour I will encourage them to play with other children.

Your laziness in turn affects your child.
No one likes a little shit.
Or the half assed parent behind them.

A Brave Escape

Today I have a guest post for Kristin's from Wanderlust's Speak Out Campaign from a blogger who wishes to remain anonymous. Please take the time to read this and comment to show her your support. It is a very brave and touching story about her escape from domestic violence.

When Kristin started to promote the Speak Out campaign, I thought that though it was an admirable cause to support, it didn't apply to me directly. Then I started thinking, hang on! Not only did I endure an abusive relationship in the past, but several members of my family had also suffered. I realised it's an invisible epidemic which is only now being brought out into the open.

There have been stories of alcoholism through generations of my family which is commonly linked with domestic violence. I saw it first hand with my mother who, when I was a child, abused my father whenever she deemed him not good enough. I heard about an Aunt that was bullied and abused by her first husband, to the point where he forced her to adopt out one of their children. I saw a sister who would occasionally turn up with a black eye from her boyfriend. Is it any wonder that I put up with more than a decade of bullying and emotional abuse from an alcoholic husband?
Of course I didn't tell anyone about the obsessive possessiveness and constant put downs, the drunken pushing around and the times he locked me out of the house, throwing the contents of my wardrobe on me on the doorstep. Or the punches through the walls next to my head. Or the disappearances, the debt or the embarrassing aggressiveness in public. Everyone saw it but I would brush it off or make a joke of it. Eventually people stopped calling around or inviting us out.

At one point I mistakenly thought that if I had a baby I would have someone to love and someone to love and respect me back. Everyone around me were having babies at this stage and we agreed it was time to try and get pregnant. This, thank God, did not happen. I had several tests and even a laparoscopy but there was no medical reason I couldn't fall. He told me he had his test and all was clear but I have my doubts that he told me the truth or that he even had the test. I watched my cycle for several years and nothing happened. We then had a consultation about an IVF program, but something (sense?) stopped me and I accepted if it was meant to be, it would have happened after 7 years.

It was then I realised I could not stay with this man anymore. We did not trust or respect each other any more and I was binge drinking on the weekends to cope with his drunkenness and our cold relationship. I had not wanted to sleep with him for several years but "put up" with it as he would get too forceful otherwise. After twelve years I tried to leave but I had no plan. I only once went to a mutual friends' place overnight who were having their own relationship problems at the time.

Then I felt independence for the first time when I went away for a long weekend to the country with friends. I had the best time of my life and I felt a huge stone had been lifted from my chest. I even developed a crush on someone there and finally believed that my marriage did not have to go on. I wanted to be happy. So when I returned, I tried to leave again. Bad planning and him laying a guilt trip on me by threatening suicide had me back but I immediately laid down some rules. I proposed we move to the country (the town I had holidayed at) and have a change of pace and lifestyle. We had tried living in the country before but we were in even more debt with a loan on the land that we trying to make a living out of. Needless to say both ventures failed miserably.

Apparently you cannot change a bad situation by just changing the location. He was still an alcoholic, irresponsible and abusive. I did not know much about depression and other mental illnesses at that time but after, I left I realised he had some major problems he wasn't facing. And I wasn't helping as all I could see was an aggressive and emotionally abusive person that was making me miserable and assisting me into turning into an alcoholic.

After the worst year of my life we moved back into the city with the same problems and even less friends as they could not cope with his drunkenness. I know throughout this my family tried to reach out to me but I was so used to defending him they gave up. When you are entrenched in this type of situation you believe that everyone else is against your partner and the instinct is to protect.

After another year in the city where we again got lost in more and more debt, more drinking and though there wasn't as much noisy fights, we could go days without talking to each other. The couch became my bed to avoid any physical contact. I out poured any affection I had to my pets and I found solace at work where I felt valued.

The last straw was a few days before Christmas on the way home from a party. He had me cornered in a public bathroom and wouldn't let me out unless I had sex with him. I was absolutely horrified and embarrassed as our friends were just outside the door. I managed to get out with him still trying to drag me back. That was it! The next couple of days were spent working out an escape plan. I could not face another Christmas day with his family pretending that everything was 'fine and dandy'. I had met someone a few days before on a night out with work friends and though nothing had happened (well we kissed once and had the best conversation on the phone the next day), he had given me enough confidence to run. On Christmas Eve, while my husband was at work, I packed a bag and called a cab to my friend's place. I didn't take my car as I didn't want anything to tie me down and of course, it hadn't been paid for. I never saw him again. The hardest thing was leaving my dog behind.

My life since leaving was a little difficult at times (living on people's couches and giving up my pets, hiding from my family over Christmas so they weren't hassled by my aggro ex), but it has been 1000 times better. The moment I knew I had gone for good, that horrible, crushing weight was lifted and I could breathe!

I'm now remarried to that lovely man I met, we have two beautiful children and are living in an unbelievably great house. And yet somehow I knew this happiness would come. Lying on that couch back then I had visions of this exact life and there was a quiet confidence that one day I would be happy.

From Makeup-less to Flaw-less in under 10 minutes.

Two weeks ago we talked about using brushes to apply your makeup. It's definitely something you need to see in action right?
Today I am going to show you how I apply my base going through 7 steps from moisturising to applying a finishing powder in under 10 minutes!



Products I used: Olay Complete Defence $14.69, Australis Primer $13.95, Napoleon Mighty Concealor Pen $35, Australis Paparazzi Perfect Foundation $19.95 applied with Eco Tools Foundation Brush $10.99, Napoleon Camera Finish Powder Foundation $59, The Body Shop Brush on Bronzer $38.95, Nutrimentics Silk Blush $27, Australis Ready, Set, Go Finishing Powder $12.95 applied with Eco Tools Powder Brush $17.99.

The final result? A natural yet even look.


How do you apply your makeup?
Differently to me?
Any products that you could recommend?
Was this helpful to you?

Some Food for Thought this Monday Morning.

Image credit.

Imagine.
This is your life.
Your one and only life.
There is no before, or after. This is it.
Are you living it the way you would like?

Tearing my hair out. Or yours.

Image credit.

How two faced are you?

Are you only two faced if it suits you or you gain from it in some way?

Or are you just a bitch for shits and giggles?

I can't bullshit.
There. It's out there.
I don't really see the point in being fake.
I do however believe in being polite, by celebrating others fortunes even if it freshens the sting of my failures, in innocent until proven guilty, and believing the very best about people.

If I don't like you, I won't talk to you. It really is as simple as that. Why talk to someone who you do not like? In the vain hope they will give you something you want?
Chances are they know you don't like them, or they don't like you either.
You are not as savvy as you think.

There is nothing classy about cutting the throats of the people around you.

Building Love.

Image credit.

Everyone talk about sisters and how they have a special bond.
I've occasionally heard the shouts of how brothers do too.
You know what?
I think siblings have a special bond. Regardless of gender. Especially if they're close in age (thus having things similar in age appropriateness).

My kids are the best of friends. So they tell me.
But I do see it, and it makes me feel like sure I may yell too much some days, or not be the most fun mum all the time, but I'm doing something right to have them love one another so dearly.

Greenie misses Bluey with an ache when he is at school.
We were worried about this before Bluey started, and Greenie has done well, but he does get excited to pick his brother up from school and regularly tries to sneak into the classroom to be with his brother.
Bluey is bursting when he comes out of the classroom to share his stories of the day with Greenie.
They talk excitedly, sometimes in hushed whispers, making grand plans about life or the day ahead.

The bond, the love, it's obvious. We have very few bickers considering we are in the "terrible two's stage".
For example, just the other day Bluey asked Greenie to get the lego he was building for him. Greenie did, but broke a bit off in the process.
He said to Bluey quite timidly "Are you angry with me?"
"Nup, I'm not angry with you, I'm happy because you're helping me." Bluey replies with a huge grin.
Greenie was overjoyed. So proud of himself.

Those moments?
I need those, to trust that I'm not fucking up too badly.

Do you worry about how you are doing as a parent?
Do your kids have little ways of letting you know you're doing an ok job?
Are you sick of the gender competition from some parents?

Hypocrite.

I eagerly put my hand up when Lori announced she had some "Speak" bands.
It wasn't about wanting one to support her, or others.
For me it was about needing one. Mental health is something I am so passionate about, for personal reasons, involving myself, and loved ones.
I cannot talk about my story though.
Too many solid walls have been built.
Too many times has it bitten me in the ass to speak up, to reach out for help.
I don't talk.
And I'm ok with that.

I wear my Speak band with pride.
I don't take it off.
I talk to my kids about it, and how it's important to talk to people around you about your feelings, and to encourage others to speak to you, to try to help others as much as possible.
I still don't talk.

And it dawns on me, can I really tell others what to do?
Can I really encourage them to share their stories.
To ask for help.
To speak.

Who am I to tell others to do what I cannot do myself?
Does it matter that my concern, the reason I push is because I don't want others to make the mistakes I have?
Am I part of the wave of people causing mental health to be muffled?
I like to think not.

Not everyone can speak. It doesn't mean that we don't want others to. It doesn't mean we judge those who do. There is a massive amount of bravery in speaking, and just because I don't speak it doesn't mean that I support the cause any less than the person with the loudest voice.

I'll have a summer look, hold the cancer please.

What do you think of when you picture a "summer look"?

Me I think of salty hair, light fabrics with fun splashes of colour and sun kissed skin.
If your skin is anything like mine, the sun kissed look is simply unachievable. I spent hours in my early teens baking my skin in the sun, only to go a nice lobster red, and back to a pale white. Apparently I do not have the Aussie skin.
I caught on pretty quickly that all my baking was fruitless, and gave it up accepting that I would have to work the pale look like no one's business.
That was until 2005 when my beautician suggested I give fake tan a try, that it wasn't all oompa loompa.

Not the look I'm trying to achieve.

I have since treated myself to many a spray tan, professionally done.
The difference it makes, whilst still looking natural is amazing, and not a big cost.
See for yourself.

L-R: Immediately after having the tan applied (still in the tanning room), 1 hour, 2 hours, & 3 hours after having the tan applied, the final result after 4 hours & a shower.

But how does it work?
Not to bore you too badly but there is a chemical in fake tanners called DiHydroxyAcetone (DHA) which is a colourless sugar that reacts with the Amino acids in the dead layers of your skin and over a period of a few hours goes brown. Just like an apple does when you have bitten it.
This makes it safe in pregnancy, and breastfeeding (as long as you wash your nipples before feeding your baby).

After getting sprayed (remembering to wear loose clothing so you don't smudge your tan), you need to wait at least 2 hours (check with your beautician how long they would recommend you wait depending on the product they use, and remember the longer you wait, the deeper the colour) you need to have a shower to wash the excess tanner off, and to stop the colouring process.

Whilst showering avoid using anything that may exfoliate the skin as this may cause your tan to be removed. Moisturise as often as possible over the next few days as this helps your tan to fade more evenly.

Really. It's that simple.
There is no need to fear your pale legs, spray them down, and strut your stuff.

Have you ever had a spray tan? Do you like the look? Does it make you feel more confident? Have you ever wanted a spray tan but been too worried about turning orange?

Stay tuned for the DIY tanning products...

Giveaway

Unless you have been living under Uluru the last few months then you would be aware that the Digital Parents Bloggers Conference is coming up in March next year.
There have been several generous bloggers who have hosted a variety of giveaway's, but none more generous than Little Hero Hosting, who recently hosted 2 giveaway's, one to win a ticket to the event, and the other to win some sponsorship funds.

Well colour me surprised when I was announced the second prize winner, and scored a very awesome domain and hosting package!
Thing is? My feet a pretty heavily planted in the Blogger world. At least for now.
I am honestly just not ready for the switch, even with this fantastic gift which is really far too good to go to waste.
So with the permission of Michelle I am opening this prize up to you guys so that someone will give it the love and appreciation that I cannot.

Image from here

Looking to get your own domain?
Looking to make the switch from Blogger to Wordpress?
Looking to start a blog?
I don't care your reason's, now is your chance to win a spectacular pack!

I have a 12 months Starter hosting package valued at $59.40 + 1 free .com domain (valid for 1 year) valued at $9.95 + Migration Services from Blogger to Wordpress valued at $125.
That's a total of $194.35.

Rules



1. Entrants agree to these terms as part of their entry.


2. You must be a follower of The Mummy Autobiography and leave a working link/valid twitter handle/email address where I can contact you for your entry to be counted as valid.


3. Entry is open to Australian residents only.


4. Entries close 21th November 2011 2:30pm AEDST


5. The winners will be announced by 23rd November 2011


6. Winners will be announced on here on the blog, twitter and facebook, and will have 72 hours after announcement to contact me.


7. The winners will be chosen by myself and Michelle from LHH based on your answers to the question "What does blogging mean to you?".


8. The judge’s decision is final.



To win fill out the form below telling me What does Blogging mean to you?

Html email form powered by 123ContactForm.com | Report abuse

 
Good luck!

How to be a bad house guest.

Mr Black's best mate, The Drunk Godfather, flew over from the other side of the country last week, and with him must have brought a set of new manners.
Maybe his arrival aligned with my PMS, or maybe I'm just a bitch, but here are 10 things you should not do when visiting friends.

Image from here

#1 - Send them a text with a picture of your itinerary and a little line saying "Pick us up then?" I may be busy, I have a family, and hey why isn't your family picking you up?

#2 Upon pick up declare that we are going our for dinner, and then not offer to pay. It's rude to commandeer people to attend something they may not have budgeted for. A head's up that you will expect to be taken out for dinner is a minimal requirement.

#3 - Do not encourage the driver to drink and then ask for a lift somewhere AFTER the drinking has commenced. Drink driving is still illegal here, not that much has changed.

#4 - Do not then stumble into your friends house, slamming doors and tripping over stuff and shouting "FUCK" at 1am when there are kids asleep in the room right next to you, on a school night!

#5 - Do not call the next day for a lift back to our house when you stumbled out at 1:30am the night before and when we pick you up, a. not be ready, b. not thank us for the lift.

#6 - Do not brag about your conquests the night before while you sit in the back next to my kids. Complete with naughty naughty words only ever used in porno's. My kids are old enough to follow what you are saying and repeat it.

#7 - Do not then disappear for 3 days and call at 6am for a lift home from "who knows where". We are not your free taxi service.

#8 - Do not call at 5:45pm and say "I'm going to come stay at yours tonight, be there soon". I will not have dinner for you, I will not have a bed for you, and I will not be impressed with you.

#9 - Do not stumble in on arrival and complain about how hungover you are. My kids, they're loud, and they were here before you. I won't silence them.

#10 - Do not proceed to then invite a gaggle of your mates over to our house for what noise levels would suggest, a party, without asking first. When we moved, we were actually going into hiding. Thanks for ruining that jerk.

So dear Mr T.D.G.F. Please do not be disappointed when I lose your next invite in the mail, and don't have the patience to listen to you whinge about how everything has changed over here. The only thing that seems to have changed is your lack of respect.
Yours Truly,

As always I am linking up with Madam Bipolar's Grumble Sunday linky. It's a great way to let off steam. Head on over and find out what's pissing everyone else off this week.

Catch You Around

I haven't linked up for Grateful Saturdays with the lovely Maxabella in a while.
Truth be told I have struggled with positivity lately, but I think I need to push myself a little harder to get back on it, so here I go...

Image from here

This week I'm grateful for Goodbyes.
It's nice to catch up with old friends, but sometimes it's also nice to say goodbye again and get back into your own life.
My post tomorrow will explain why.

What are you grateful for this week?
Do you see the value in a goodbye?

This Is Personal.

I've been told for many years that I'm a pretty defensive person. I am quick to take things personally.
I used to argue that I didn't in my teen years, but now I can see that I do take things personally. I always wonder if people are trying to subtly tell me something?

I never understood why my mind jumped to this, until I read Madam Bipolar's post this week on Bullies.
Bullying.
It started at a young age for me, and continued for many years. Maybe there is something in my subconscious that is hearing what people are saying they don't like, and it's rushing through all my actions and words and wondering if I have inadvertently done something to cause that person to dislike me.
Which is silly because they're sitting here talking to me about how x does this and why they don't like it. Wouldn't they just tell me if it were me?

And does it even matter if it is? Shouldn't I be accepting of who I am.
Now I don't go around trying to camouflage myself, that is something I'm certain of, but I am so socially inept that I do wonder if I should have said this, or maybe just kept it to myself. Do I ask this question, or is it rude? Should I interact with this person or do they want to be left alone?

So I am quick to defend myself. I am quick to assume that maybe you mean me, even though the logical part of me knows that you don't. I am quick to worry that you may think I am talking about you, or that you may take what I say the wrong way.

I think because for so long I was unaccepted that when I am accepted, I reject it, because I don't like how vulnerable it makes me.
The more you gain, the more you have to lose.

Are you a Tool?

Last week we talked about Priming your face before applying any makeup. An important step for helping prepare your skin, and also for helping makeup stick to your skin so that it doesn't slide off as easily.

This week I want to talk to you about tools.
I have always used my hands to apply makeup. Yep even eyeshadow. I found I had more control of where stuff went, or so I thought.
When I decided to give brushes a try, I didn't want to go out and spend a lot of money on something I wasn't sure if I would stick with. I felt overwhelmed with choices, but in the end my green side won out and I picked an Ecotools brush set, plus a foundation brush.

I have found that the brushes are actually really soft, something I was told to look for, and they're still as soft 3 months on.
Also, it has actually made applying makeup easier. So much so, that now the only thing I apply by hand is my blush (as it is a creme blush).
At first I struggled, especially with foundation application, as I found with wet things I could see the brush lines, but I have fiddled around and found that squirting my foundation on the back of my hand and using it like a painters palette has helped me put less makeup on my face so that it blends more softly.
With eye shadows I am getting brighter colours that are more accurately applied, and I am even using the angled eyeliner brush to do my eyeliner!

Ecotools 5 piece brush set $34.99, Ecotools Foundation brush $10.99

Next week I will have a vlog showing you how I use my foundation brush to apply my foundation....