I'm thrilled to have the opportunity to write a guest post for The Mummy Autobiography. Thanks for having me Miss Pink, you're a doll!
I assume many of you are parents of toddlers to tweens, and knowing that (somehow) my boys and I survived the tumultuous teenage years, I thought I would share a few tips. I am by no means an expert on parenting and I definitely don't have all the answers, but I have 'been there and done that'. All of it.
So here are thirteen things I have learnt since my sons turned thirteen:
1. Kids will eventually brush their teeth AND their hair without being told to. They will.
2. A 'gathering' is just a fancy name for a party.
3. It is not just OK to go to sleep before your older teen gets home from a night out, it becomes unavoidable.
4. If your son vacuums the house and/or mops the floor while you were out, be suspicious.
5. You get to ask your child three questions between the ages of 15 and 19, so you'd better make them good ones.
6. When your son is an hour late home, you'll be cranky enough to reprimand him. When he is three or more hours late, you will be so relieved to know he's not lying in a gutter somewhere that you will forget to be mad. He will work this out much sooner than you will, and time his arrival home perfectly. Every time.
7. If you go out at 1am to pick up your son and a mate because they missed the last train home, they will miss that train the following week too. But telling them they have to wait 4 hours for the next train, guarantees they will never miss that last train again.
8. Although, 30 mins in the car in the middle of the night is better than hours of lost sleep worrying that the kid will get home safely.
9. The police WILL attend a party at your house at least once. There is a good chance they will turn up after all the guests have gone home and find only mum, and her bottle of gin.
10. That friend you think is a negative influence on your son, and you expect will end up in jail? Probably will.
11. A packet of condoms is an appropriate birthday gift for an 18 year old lad, a one litre bottle of whisky is not.
12. If your son tells you that the cops are going to call you, don't freak out. Just let him explain, but remember that he's telling you his side of the story. There is probably another one.
13. When your young adult child asks you, "Are you going to be home tomorrow night?" the appropriate answer is always "Yes", even if it is no.
So there you have it. Words of wisdom from a mum who successfully navigated sole-parenting teenage boys whilst retaining her sanity, sort of. I deserve a medal, or atleast a t-shirt that says "I raised two teenage boys, and I survived".
Lisa is a mum to two adult males Josh and Ben. She writes a heartfelt blog about her life, family and journey as a Mum of Adult Kids.