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Words.
How many words are there in the human language again?
And yet here I am struggling to find any.
I once wrote a post called Hermit Crab.
I am feeling exactly like a hermit crab right now, only more like the shell they leave behind.
Present, but empty watching everything pass by unable to absorb and form thoughts of my own.
It's quite frustrating to be honest.
It also makes me highly aware of everything going on around me. Not being involved. Slinking back into the wallpaper, and simply observing.
Sometimes I like these moments. Not so much right now.
Xx
ReplyDeleteThis doesn't sound good hon :( but I get it x
ReplyDeleteI just read your Hermit Crab post, and honestly, I can relate to every word you wrote! That is exactly what social anxiety is like...The huge anticipatory anxiety over going out in the first place, thinking up any excuse to cancel, and then the agony of analyzing every single word you said or thing you did, so worried that it may have come across the wrong way to someone, or that you made a fool of yourself, or that deep down they really don't like you and were just being polite :/ It is a huge constant battle, and so emotionally draining that yes, it does make you retreat, much like a hermit crab, craving the 'hidden' space away, and the chance to breathe again, perhaps recharge before you face the next 'challenge', the next social occasion that has to be attempted...And yes, it can get incredibly lonely, and you can feel so disconnected from the world around you, even when you are in a room full of people...
ReplyDelete*Hugs* to you, Miss Pink...This is not an easy struggle to have, and hard for others to understand (in my experience)...It is why I cannot work the way most people do, cannot attend each sporting event my children are in, and cannot make it to the shops some days...But, to give you a little hope, I am much better than I used to be, so I guess things do improve over a long period of time...
And maybe some of us just need a little 'time out' from the world every now and then...If you ever need to chat to someone who can relate, please feel free to email (pretty sure my details are listed on my blog), or just leave a comment on one of my posts and I will get back to you :o)
Hang in there! Things will look up again soon :o)
I just read your Hermit Crab post. I know exactly what you mean! I had a similar conversation with my son yesterday. But not only do I stress about saying/doing the wrong thing and making a fool of myself, I also have low tolerance of other people. I came to the conculsion that I just don't like being around people very much at all. I'd rather stay at home.
ReplyDeleteThat's why blogging works for me. It's social interaction, I get to think more before I 'speak' and I can just click away when I've had enough, without making an idiot of myself (hopefully!)
Hang in there,
I understand exactly what you mean
ReplyDeleteI get it. Hope the feeling doesn't stick around for too long x
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