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| Found here |
Dear Friends,
No, that isn't smeared chocolate, or two caterpillars making sweet sweet love on my forehead. It's my unibrow. Thank you for noticing.
You see, I have this unibrow because obviously I've got
You may not have noticed it before. This is due to hours spent taming this beast and keeping those horny caterpillars away from one another. If I'm not careful those fuckers go for it at every opportunity. Sadly hosing them with cold water doesn't work. I've tried.
The reason for my dishevelled appearance isn't due to laziness. I almost wish it were. At least I would be well rested right?
No, unfortunately I have just been far too busy and a few stray hairs left "for later" have gotten us to this point. A point of shame and slight blushing every time I remove my sunglasses and I see your face change to one of horror.
No, it isn't two caterpillars mating, so please don't tell me to hold still while you attempt to hit them from my face. That shit actually hurts, as did the state of panic you put me in before I realised you were just scared of the unibrow.
I am getting around to having it "fixed". I was drunk with optimism that I may, just may have been spoilt for Mothers Day and gotten that spa trip I've been asking for for the last six years. At the very least the pedicure I specifically asked for the few days before. No such luck. I guess the good mother gods or whoever decided that I've been a pretty lame ass mum this past year and I haven't had the time since then with all the running around.
If it scares you, please, keep in mind I don't wake up looking this great. I too am human, yes even with these goddess like looks, and a lot of work goes into looking like this. My birthday is on the same day every year, just like Christmas and I am happy to accept gift vouchers to the local beauticians to help maintain my appearance.
In the meantime I will try to keep my sunglasses on. Thank you for your patience.
Sincerely
and my nymphomaniac caterpillars.
Now I know who to turn to when the Minx is old enough to deal with her 'hair issues' as I refer to them. Being from fairly unhairy stock but marrying a man with more hair than I care to think about, it was bound to effect some of the kids. Poor ol' Minx will need a good waxer and some hair removal in order to maintain her good looks. And Aunty Pink will be just the lady to help I have just learnt! You take care of that thing. People will talk. *winks* xx
ReplyDeleteMine are TERRIFYING.
ReplyDeleteBut because of my little run in with cellulitis of the FACE I am too scared to go anywhere near them.
I wear sunglasses at all times now.