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I've never believed them too much. I've found that people are eager to open up and they're experts in reading your body language, and into the tiniest of words you share. It's part of their art. Their skill set.
I went to one shortly before Bluey was born. It was a tarot reading and there wasn't much that was shared that has stuck with me now, but one thing, which was incorrect at the time. I've never been too sure since if it was co-incidence or not.
I went to a psychic yesterday. I had a lot of nerves leading up. What if the questions I had weren't answered? What if I just wasted my money and came out with nothing. Why am I even going? A psychic isn't someone I should allow to make my decisions for me. Will anything they say even change anything at all?
Part of the angle is rarely do people go because they're "killing time". They go because they want answers. Some sort of direction. They go with a purpose.
I was there with a purpose. Long building questions swirling my mind. They were keeping me up at night, and causing me to be quite rattled through the day, and the pile just kept getting bigger. Why not give this a try? It either works or it doesn't.
I entered the room nervous. I had my guard up, and felt highly alert amidst my tiredness. I was on the look out for anything so I could shout "See! It's all a crock of bullshit! There is no such thing." I wanted to be right.
To laugh at the thought of "destiny" because really, would destiny have it that life can hurt so much?
I started shaking five minutes into the session. Too much was said that no psychic could have read from my body language, or in to my responses. The tiniest of things that not even Mr Black would have known about me. Not my parents. No one.Questions answered without my even uttering a word. With zero reference to my fears. I'm not even sure she knew that she was answering a concern for me.
So many things that were said stood out to me. None more than her comment of "I need to tell you that you're a good mother. A fantastic mother. You are always putting your children first and you shouldn't have to worry about writing taking time away from them."
It wasn't something I even felt needed addressing.
She had no idea I had a blog or anything of the sort. She had only moments before said "You don't have children do you? You look too young but I'm being told you have two children."
Two kids. An easy guess yes? But how I feel about them? My worries? That I write?
No, I don't feel like a great mother to my children. I make mistakes, all.the.time. Mistakes that really I shouldn't be making.
I'm guilty of all of those. I'm not proud to admit I'm guilty of all of those, but I am.
I've pulled away majorly from being online, from writing and reading because of the guilt I carry as a mother. Because right now I am choosing to try and be more active in their lives instead of spending a couple of hours a day on blogging I'm spending that time with them, or doing things that I would otherwise do when I could be spending time with them.
It wasn't an issue. If it came down to it who would you choose? Your children or your blog?
It wasn't until she spoke those words that I realised what I was doing, and how much I needed writing for me. I need it to help understand myself better.
So I will continue to write. I'm not sure on what level yet. Right now, I do need more time with my children. But I know writing isn't over for me yet. I still feel the itch every day. I need it like I need to feel the sun on my face. Yeah, I will live without it, but it's so important to my existence.
Are you a believer?
Would you give up writing for your children, or is it something you need too?
Have you ever been to a psychic before? Please share your stories.