I'm used to the shocked responses these days. This time was no different with the person saying they thought I was in my late twenties.
I'm not.
I know sometimes I appear older, more lived. Catch me on the flipside and I'm exactly the opposite. A teenager still fumbling to find her way. Burning her hands countless of times. Drinking too much and saying inappropriate things.
 |
| If this is your image please let me know so I can credit you. |
I laugh at a lot. I mean, a lot. Usually really inappropriate things too. The cruder the better. I think why cry when you can laugh? No matter what happens I want to be able to laugh about it, eventually.
There is not much I know about myself beyond the superficial. I am scared too seek answers about myself because I am scared of the answer, even if I spend a lot of time frustrated at my lack of answers.
Sometimes I talk too much. About myself, my opinion, or nothing at all. In the same moment I can be cold and unwelcoming. It's because of my internal push and pull to want to reach out and connect, but also protect myself.
I am impatient and restless. I like quick results. I think it's because I live life like it's a race. There is just too much to do, too many answers to find, and not near enough time.
I don't do emotions well. It doesn't make me heartless, and I don't expect you to understand it.
I am a lazy perfectionist. Yes, figure that one out.
I'm always thinking. Over thinking. Reading into situations. It's tiring and yet I can't seem to stop.
I know I have a warped sense of myself. I am learning that I need to listen to others, not be afraid to ask their opinion of me, and take that on board. I do fear others perception of me, so this doesn't happen often.
I am completely unsure of who I am, and I'm mostly ok with that. I'm ok with always learning about myself. What's important is who I am to you?
Linking up with Edenland for...
I think you're awesome.
ReplyDeleteI love that you put yourself out there despite your insecurities. I love that you are comfortable in your own skin.
I love your awesome hair. :)
I just kinda love you.
Not in a lesbian way.
Personally, to me I mean, you are just an idol. I adore reading your thoughts. You make me feel normal, as I see alot of things I can relate to in your posts. It doesn't matter how old you are, either P.S.! We'll continue learing everyday.
ReplyDeleteOh damn. For a moment there I had my hopes up ;P
ReplyDeleteThank you.
I love my hair, but not how much maintenance it is.
Oh wow. Thank you so much Amber.
ReplyDeleteThat's right, and I think it would be pretty boring if we didn't continue to learn every day. We are curious by nature for a reason. It drives our thirst for knowledge.
You are a shining light, an inspiration and an amazing friend.
ReplyDeleteOh shush you! A whole country between us is just bullshit!
ReplyDeleteI think it is wonderful you lay your feelings on the line but more importantly that you are willing to keep on learning about yourself and growing.So many of us think we have it all together and dont need to grow.Life is a continuous learning journey and good on you being so open to that.xx
ReplyDeleteI think it is so great that you put yourself out there in the face of insecurity and uncertainty. It's a mark of courage and a more 'core' confidence. I think you're totally awesome! x
ReplyDeleteIf it's one thing life makes sure of letting me know is just as I think I've got the hang of it, a tidal waves comes along making me realise I have no idea at all, and things can change in a moment.
ReplyDeleteThank you Hannah. I've never thought of myself as confident, but I guess I am on some level.
ReplyDelete