I am hoping that this won't seem like a rehash to those of you who read the post (and if not you should go and read it right now) but a variation of me sharing my story. Because I can.
|Image found here|
Social anxiety being a big part of this blog, amongst my other anxieties. People in my life do not know of these battles. I simply do not show my struggles because that is who I am. I am not a woe is me person, and I exude a very tough exterior.
It was by chance that I even opened up about it on this blog. That was never the plan, much less what I envisioned for this blog.
But I do share things I wouldn't in person.
It doesn't make me any less true to myself, it actually gives you a bigger understanding of who I am and if we are lucky enough to meet, I hope that you hold that knowledge dear to you because it's a great fucking deal to me.
I don't talk to people. I don't open up and do all the inner feeling talking.
I don't *think* I am cold. I love to hear about what other people are thinking and feeling and really pick their brains. I'm just not big on sharing the deep stuff myself.
Selfish of me huh?
So my blog has become a platform to share that. To be a little less selfish, but in doing so I feel incredibly selfish.
Does this mean I am sharing one side of the story?
No. This is my story, and mine alone.
I do not lie because honestly, the things I live through, the battles I fight against myself are things I only wish I were lying about.
I share in the hopes that someone will understand. That I can make a connection and hopefully when I do need someone I will cross over to being able to talk to someone, anyone instead of battling this myself.
Writing the words here, it's my way of reaching out whilst still holding you at an arms distance.
Please don't be afraid to reach back. I need it more than I'll admit to your face.